An Eye-Opening Education
by RedBear5
Summary: Combine an overtly sexual female university student looking to explore her kinks, but having no real experience with violence or primitive conditions, and a sexually naive fellowship looking to destroy a ring. Shake and destroy everyone's innocence. This is going to be Mary Sue in style, just 'cause I love the contrast between our cultures. Not slash. Legolas/OC pairing
1. Chapter 1 This Could be Fun

Summary – combine an overtly sexual female university student looking to explore her kinks, but having no real experience with violence or primitive conditions, and a sexually naive fellowship looking to destroy a ring. Shake and destroy everyone's innocence.

This is going to be Mary Sue in style, just 'cause I love the contrast between our cultures.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

Slap me with a wet noodle in a review if I miss spelling errors, have wrong word choices or grammatical errors (Characters will make them in speech); the trinity of horrific writing errors, far worse than a Mary Sue. ;-) Unbeta'd Harsh criticism welcome. Effusive praise too. ;-)

...

Tabatha cursed under her breath as her feet splayed in the snow covered ice. She was trying to catch the bus which was frustrating on the best of days. At minus 30 plus wind chill, today was agonizing. She was a uni student; what choice did she have? She had no funds for a car. She glared down the road.

The last time there was a storm, they cancelled her bus home. They never announced the cancellation to anyone waiting in the inadequate shelters by the outdoor bus platforms; she doubted it occurred to the toasty warm attendants inside. After the second bus failed to show, she ended up walking home. She had to stop and warm up in a gas station to prevent her hyperthermia from going critical. She hated buses.

She was glad she splurged on a proper Canadian parka after the last cancellation. Looks like today would be another no-show. She groaned, then turned to trudge through the shortcut in the woods. Hopefully she could hitch a ride on the main road like during the bus strike.

The wind was biting in the tunnel hood of her coat. She formed it to only expose her eyes, fogging her sun glasses to sightlessness. She peered over the tops of the frames at the treacherous slope as she picked her way downhill, clinging to trees. Her foot slipped, she landed on her ass, sliding down the hill. Her boots failed to break through the thick layer of last week's freezing rain, as she accelerated. 'Ah shit' was her last conscious thought.

...

Tabatha groaned. She was boiling, her head hurt and muscles ached. She fumbled onto all fours as her mental fog began to clear. Leaves crackled under her hands. Water rushing in the distance. Animal snorting sounds behind her. She shook her head.

Two feet appeared in her vision. "Who are you?" a voice asked.

Tabatha sat on her heels, and slid the hood off her head. She pulled off her gloves, putting them in her pockets as she glanced around to find herself surrounded by three gorgeous male blondes, two with wicked looking knives held in either hand. She held her hands up in surrender, forcing her voice to hold a false bravo. "Tabatha Baker."

"For what purpose are you near Imladris?"

"Never heard of it." She responded.

"Rivendell then."

"Still never heard of it. Who are you?"

"We don't have time for to delay further. Take her to Lord Elrond. She may be a spy." Came the hard voice from the blond in front of her.

She was forced to her feet, her backpack removed and her hands bound behind her. A blindfold was tied over her eyes. "What are you talking about? Hey, what are you doing? I have rights. You can't do this to me. Help! Somebody help me!" she exclaimed, trying to free her hands. She was tossed over the front of a horse.

Legolas covered her mouth. "If you cannot remain silent, I'll add a gag." She looked toward him in disbelief. The small party quickly moved out.

...

Tabatha was pissed. She was sweltering in her coat. Her stomach ached from where she spent the last hour, head rushing from her inverted position. She had never been on a horse before; she was emphatically against repeating the experience. The bouncing movements made her want to throw up last night's Pad Thai noodles.

Lord Elrond was waiting to greet the party. "Welcome Legolas. What have we here?"

"We found this one outside your gates. We brought her in for questioning." He pulled the blindfold off her eyes. She blinked in the bright sunlight, trying to focus.

"And what were you doing out there?" Lord Elrond turned to her.

"Doing where? Where the hell am I? What happened to the snow?" She peered around, shaking her head, her overheated cheeks flushed bright red.

"There hasn't been snow in this valley for centuries. Where were you going?" he asked.

"I cut across the woods to hitch a ride then slipped on the ice. Next thing I know blondie is getting kinky and bringing me to you."

Elronds' eyebrow rose. "It seems we have a mystery." He turned to a sentry "Please ask Gandalf to come to my study. Legolas, would you care to join us?' He motioned two sentries to follow with Tabatha. "Arwen will take care of the rest of your party." His daughter nodded and smiled at Legolas.

'This is so not my day.' Tabatha thought.

...

"You may release her Legolas." The first blonde elf approached, carefully untying the knots made earlier.

She rubbed her wrists for a moment, before grabbing off her touque, removing her scarf, and shoving them into a pocket, stripping off her coat and dropping it to the floor. She continued, removing and dropping her pullover. She fanned her tank top to create a cooling breeze, her coloring slowly returning to normal.

She glared at Legolas. "Thanks. Just so you know, I'm so not into BDSM, especially on a first date." She told him sarcastically.

"BDSM? I don't understand."

She paused, startled, before deliberately checking him out, dragging her eyes slowly top to bottom and back again, eyes narrowing as she examined his assets. He really was a hot dish; slender and clean shaven, long hair pulled back from his face, sleek muscles hinted at beneath his clothing. He looked disconcerted under her gaze, so she smirked at him. "Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, and the hidden DS - Dominance and Submission… in other words… kinky sex games." She winked at him.

Legolas flushed, his ears turning cherry red. He glanced over at Lord Elrond's raised eyebrow and faintly pink ears. Gandalf just chuckled. She burst out laughing at their reactions.

Lord Elrond cleared his throat. "Perhaps if we return to the matter at hand?"

Two hours later, after one cell phone demo (including the display of a sex positions application. She couldn't resist. Their reactions mirrored earlier.) both parties were ready for a break. At least they now agreed she was from someplace other than Middle Earth.

...

Dinner was served in a wide open hall. Tabatha was led to a seat beside Arwen. During a conversation lull she leaned over to whisper "Damn girl, you really don't lack for a view do you? It's model central here. How's the action?"

Arwen "Action? I don't understand?"

"You know, relationships, dating, sex and all that."

Arwen went beet red. Every elf in the hall appeared to have frozen, before snapping their head around to watch the two of them.

Lord Elrond coughed. "Tabatha, I think we need to continue our earlier discussion, and include elfish hearing capabilities and customs in this area."

Across the hall, Pippen asked "What'd she say?"

"I don't know Pippen." Merry responded.

Tabatha looked at Lord Elrond confusedly. "Elfish hearing? I don't understand."

Arwen turned to her. "You're in Imladris, home of the elves."

She laughed. "Ya right." She rolled her eyes.

Arwen's face remained serious. "Did you not know?" Arwen asked.

Tabatha shifted to look around the room again. "I really have fallen down the rabbit hole, haven't I?" She shook her head. "This is so not my day."

...

Two days later, Tabatha cornered Arwen in a garden for girl talk.

"Let me get this straight. You guys live for centuries, and only ever have sex with your bonded?"

"Yes, that's right."

Tabatha paused, before asking "So no taking someone for a test ride before the big day either?"

Arwen shook her head no, looking at her hands, face flushed. "Elves bond during the mating process." she answered.

"What happens if you don't meet 'the one' for centuries?" Tabatha questioned, eyes widened in horror.

"We wait. It's not something we concern ourselves with until it happens." Arwen responded primly, hands folded over her lap, not meeting Tabatha's eyes.

Tabatha flinched. "No sex for centuries? You guys must have one hell of a toy collection. I wouldn't last a month otherwise."

"We don't..." Arwen voice trailed off in embarrassment. She just shifted under Tabatha's gaze, redness gradually fading from her cheeks.

Tabatha watched her for a minute "What happens if someone dies? Would you bond again?"

"We fade without our bonded. We only bond once during our lifetime."

"But you're like immortal! You go centuries without sex, then can lose it early? Damn girl, that's rough. You have my sympathies." Tabatha retreated into thought, before exclaiming. "Hey, wait a minute. That means every unbound elf is a virgin! No wonder the guys were going red when I asked about sex. Are all the other races here also sexually repressed?"

"Most races would only discuss such things between partners, or give advice to their children when courting. I have not heard of any customs otherwise."

"So everyone's a prude? Bloody hell, this could be fun." Tabatha grinned evilly.

Arwen's eyes widened. She pictured the chaos that would shortly follow Tabatha's wake. She was too innocent to imagine the half of it.


	2. Chapter 2 Getting Ready in Imladris

OMG – 10 follows, 3 favorites and 5 comments. You guys are awesome! Ask and you shall receive. I'm not sure I can post again so soon; I need to find ideas to continue on.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own. I also don't own the MTV Easter Egg of the Council of Elrond. (It should be seen before this chapter. A few lines are taken from it. ;-) Yes, I am disturbed.

...

Chapter 2 Getting Ready in Imladris

Tabatha was requested to never sing again by Lord Elrond. It wasn't that her voice was terrible; she had started her performance in the fire hall with Cascada's 'Bad Boy', then moved onto Pussycat Dolls's 'Buttons' before being escorted off the stage for a change in music. She flopped down beside the hobbits.

"Can't say I've ever heard music like that before." Sam said.

"Then you are sadly lacking in education, Mr. hobbit. No worries, I can hook you up." Sam blushed.

"Is all your music like that?" Pippin asked.

"Nah, I just like turning the elves red." She grinned. "You guys held out to the second song. I'm impressed." She glanced around the room. She'd cleared part of the hall, but still received embarrassed glances from the remainder.

"You're interested in Prince Legolas?" Bilbo asked.

"Mr. tie me up, tie me down? You're kidding right? I'm still getting payback for his initial greeting." She shrugged. "Besides, it's fun to watch him flounder for a response." She gestured in his direction, where Legolas still appeared frozen in his seat next to Aragorn. He'd been one of her main targets during the second song, when she added hip moves and ass slaps. It was the suggestion that she was ready to strip on stage that finished him off.

...

Legolas shook himself. "I don't understand. Do you understand her Aragorn?"

"What man can say they understand a woman? That one least of all." he replied.

"Her country must be truly different for a lady to exhibit themselves so."

"She's still upset at you ordering her tied up and thrown on a horse. She goes out of her way to make you blush my friend." He smiled as she waved at both them. "Did you think to apologize for your treatment of her?"

"It was a normal response to finding someone outside the gates."

"I don't believe she thinks so. And you'll continue pay for that." he grinned.

Legolas groaned.

...

A voice came from the dark. "You shouldn't encourage the men. If you act like a trollop, the men will treat you as one." Lord Boromir said, stepping from the shadows.

"I'm no trollop." She fired back. "In my country we treat sex as something natural, and not a dirty little secret, never to be discussed. Besides, I have standards."

"And just what are these standards?" he asked.

She smirked at him, locking his eyes. "That's a discussion for another day. For now, I'm off to bed. Sadly alone; but maybe tomorrow I'll get lucky." She winked at him, before flouncing down the corridor.

Boromir watch her depart, shaking his head.

...

Tabatha wandered around Imladris. She was bored. She had been to the training fields, but they were strangely empty. There wasn't much for her to do here, so she'd taken to watching sweaty men and elves practicing when bored. The grace shown in all their movements was mouthwatering, and left her in a state of sexual frustration, but it gave her lots of fuel for fantasies. She shook her head, listening for any distractions.

She followed voices, before seeing a gathering of males sitting in a circle. Merry and Pippen were crouched behind pillars, eavesdropping. Curious, she joined Merry, looking over his shoulder at the Council of Elrond as it started.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the ring, Frodo."

"It is a gift.1" She looked over at Boromir. Words floated from the back of her head. "... It's called a Prince Albert, and it's my precious. 2" Tabatha choked.

"…And what would a ranger know of this matter?"

"…This little bad boy gets the ladies where their trying to go every time.3"

"…Then what are we waiting for?" exclaimed Gimli.

"I suppose you think you're the one to do it?"

"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!"

Tabatha held her hand over her mouth, trying to not make a sound, tears running down her face, her entire body shaking in mirth.

"Look Merry, there's something wrong with Tabatha."

Merry looked at her in concern.

"Prince Albert" she gasped.

"Who's Prince Albert?" he asked.

"Later guys." She put her finger on her mouth to indicate silence, and continued to listen to the council members.

"I'll take it. Though...I do not know the way…"

"If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."

"Gondor will see it done." she gasped. "OMG, they have no idea what I just pictured Gondor watching get done. They'd kill me." She collapsed onto the ground, unable to contain her laughter any longer.

The fellowship was formed, other parties leaving to new activities. Merry grabbed Pippin and dragged him back to Tabatha, trailed by the rest of the fellowship and Lord Elrond. She looked up at the collection of people staring down at her, and lost it again.

"Tabatha, what is it?' Merry asked again.

"I've seen the Council of Elrond before." she gasped. "My friend sent me a link to the MTV Easter Egg, even if I'm not a crazy Lord of the Rings fan. That was priceless. I can't believe you guys actually said…MTV is so twisted. That was so funny. You've made my day."

"There was nothing funny in our conversation." Lord Elrond said puzzled.

"What are you babbling about? You've seen this before?" Gandalf broke into her laughter.

"Hell ya. I haven't seen the movies in years, but they're well known. I didn't recognize this place until the council though. I'm horrible with names, and not much of a geek."

...

An hour later, she was cursing her verbal diarrhea. Lord Elrond was explaining "You cannot stay here. Rivendell cannot keep you safe from those who would seek and use this knowledge. If you are found by the enemy, he will not hesitate to torture you for information."

"Where can I go?" she questioned in a small voice.

"You shall join the fellowship. " Gandalf said.

"Hell no! Not a chance! I know what's coming. Nobody's able to make me. You'll have to carry me tied up in a sack."

"That can be arranged. After your recent tormenting of Prince Legolas, I'm sure he'd volunteer to do the honors. " Lord Elrond smirked at her, eyebrow raised.

'This is so not good.' she thought. "What if I change things? I have no idea what happens elsewhere, but the end result of the quest is success. Everyone's happy. You don't want to risk that. Do you?" she tried.

"There is no safe place in Arda anymore. My people are leaving this shore. If you join the fellowship, at least you will have foreknowledge of the dangers to be faced, and protection of the others. You can help ensure their success."

"You realize I haven't seen the movie in years? I'm not sure how anything goes anymore. I only saw the Easter Egg when my friend sent me a link recently." she pleaded.

"Not a problem. You'll have plenty of time to recollect the events of the tale." Gandalf put in.

"We should get you prepared. Have you any skill in weapons?" Lord Elrond asked.

She glared at him. "Me? Hell no. I'm only dangerous to a steak with a knife, but that's it."

"For what purpose have you been observing the men's training then." he asked.

"Hello; have you seen the beef-cakes out there? They're scrumptious. "

"Maybe your observations have picked up something other than the attractiveness of my men." he said, eyebrow raised.

"I wouldn't count on it. They're hot stuff." she muttered.

"I'll be sure to pass your complements along." he countered.

...

The next day she turned up at the familiar training field for instruction. Aragorn and Legolas were waiting for her. She'd flatly refused to wear a dress. Not a chance. If they were forcing her to do this, she would at least wear comfortable clothing. Besides, who would fight in a dress?

Aragorn stood before a selection of weapons. "Try lifting each one of these, we'll see how you can handle them. " As Tabatha worked her way down the line, Aragorn commented. "She'll have to use an elven blade; the others are too heavy for her. Twin knifes might be better, it's less weight in each arm."

Legolas responded "Knives are up close and personal. But they are easier in tight spaces."

She protested "I don't want to be up close and personal to anything violent."

"Legolas, you could teach her the bow first. It maintains distance, without leaving her defenseless."

He looked at Tabatha in hesitation. She grinned, "I promise I won't bite." She winked. He didn't look comforted. Aragorn 's lips twitched, trying to prevent a smile.

After showing her how to string a bow, Legolas tried to correct her position. He repeatedly demonstrated the correct position, but she wasn't able to connect the dots.

"Help me damn it!" She exclaimed in frustration. "Don't just show me, I'm not getting it."

"I'll have to touch you." Legolas warned.

"So touch me then!" she said, rolling her eyes at him.

He bent down to reposition her foot angle. He gripped her hips, twisting them slightly towards him. She glanced at him, eyes darting to catch his for a moment. A pause, before he stepped back, walking behind her. He moved her left arm over, before gripping both shoulders, and rolling them down, stacking them over her hips.

"Good, now release."

Tabatha let the arrow fly. It sailed through the air, missing the target entirely.

"Never mind where it's landing. We'll focus on your posture first. Again."

Many hours later, Tabatha was ready to kill him. If only she could raise her arms.

...

Tabatha was starting to gather things into a pack for the journey ahead. She went through her mental checklist, before realizing a key missing item. She sought out Arwen immediately.

She opened the conversation with "Arwen, I need a dildo." Tabatha plunked down beside her on a bench.

"A dildo? What is this dildo?" she asked, already wincing.

"You know, a masturbatory aid. You can't expect me to go on this journey with 9 males without something? I'd jump the lot of them. Well, not Gandalf. That's just creepy. But at least 3 of them won't make a week before I'd tie someone up and take advantage of them." A Cheshire grin on her face at the possibilities. "You have to help me!" she asked fervently. "Help them!"

"Are they truly in such danger?" she wondered, eyes wide.

"Maybe not, I'm not into noncon (non-consensual sex), but if I don't get something soon, I'm going to explode. Sexual frustration's far worse than PMS, believe me. Elrond's just lucky I have only been ogling the merchandise, and not making payments."

...

Twenty minutes later they were at the wood carver's, explaining what a dildo was.

"You want to have sex with a tree?" he asked, face beet red, an appalled expression on his face.

"Absolutely. Here's what I need you to carve." she drew in the ground a rough shape, "Realistic and generous please. I'm used to a vibrator. And make sure there's no slivers either. I'd hate to ask the guys for a retrieval operation; they're still rather innocent. I can't corrupt them too quickly." She winked at him. "There'd be nothing to corrupt for me later."

His eyes shot up. "As you request milady." He said addressing Arwen, studiously avoiding Tabatha's gaze." I'll have it finished by dinner hour."

"Great. I can take it for a test drive tonight then." Tabatha exclaimed.

The wood carver looked faintly nauseous.

...

1 /2 /3 MTV Easter Egg of the Council of Elrond.


	3. Chapter 3 Starting the Journey

Thank you so much for the positive reviews. They plunged my mind into twisted depths; ideas have come, and are posted. ;-) More will be shortly.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

...

Chapter 3 Starting the Journey

"We must hold this course for 40 days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will be open."

Tabatha was not happy. Her feet were sore, and she still hadn't recovered from the last practice session with her bow. "You know, I grew up in a civilized place. There were way-stops along the highways with food, drink and washrooms every 30 minutes or less. I don't see any here."

"You can go behind a tree."

"Really? That's what you're offering? A tree?" she responded scornfully. "And how exactly am I going to wipe my ass and wash my hands?"

"Most people use leaves, and find a stream."

She grumbled, but disappeared for a few minutes.

An hour later she couldn't take it anymore. "Gandalf, I have an issue."

"What is it this time?" he sighed, turning to face her. The rest of the fellowship stopped to watch them.

"Ever since you guys made me go in the bushes, I've been getting a burning itchy feeling down there."

"What did you use to clean yourself?" Aragorn asked.

She pointed at a nearby plant. The rest of the fellowship started to chuckle.

"You used poison ivy to clean up?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"Poison ivy?" he repeated in disbelief.

"You didn't tell me there were bad leaves! I didn't know that there were bad leaves!" she exclaimed.

"We'll need to find a stream, so you can wash." He sighed. "I have a burn paste you can use afterwards."

"How do you not know of poison ivy?" Sam asked.

"Hello, city girl here. Trees are planted down the sides of the road for shade, and parks for kids and dogs. Other plants are contained in nice neat little rows in a garden. I lived in a land of cement and steel. I was happy there; they had bathrooms." she reminisced. "Even Imladris was better than this." she sighed.

Aragorn handed her the burn paste again at nightfall. "I don't suppose you'd help a lady apply the cream?" Aragorn looked at her and rolled his eyes, before shaking his head to wander off for firewood.

"Inspect the damage maybe?" Tabatha called after him. She muttered to herself. "Thought not. Prude." She headed behind to the stream to bath and wash her clothes. One icy stream later, and the burning again subsided to a manageable level. Bathing was so going to suck. That stream was cold!

She pulled on a change of clothing. She headed back to camp, wet clothes in tow. "So, where do I hang these? Is that bush safe?" she asked, pointing to one near the fire.

"Yes, it's fine." Sam answered. He regretted his decision in a moment, when her lacy undergarments were spread in full view of the company.

"How are those clothes functional?" Legolas asked in undertones to a returned Aragorn. Unfortunately, Tabatha heard him.

"Well blondie, their purpose is less to cover female assets, and more to get a rise out of male ones." She deliberately dropped her gaze southwards before smirking into his eyes with a wide grin. "If you ask me nicely, I can demonstrate how they work." She winked.

Legolas went beet red, again. This time he was joined by most of the fellowship. There were a few quick throats cleared, before the subject was quickly changed to supper. No further comment was made on her clothing for weeks afterwards.

…

Legolas approached Tabatha during dinner the next day. "Can you not forgive me for my actions on our first meeting?"

She looked at him surprised. "I have forgiven you."

"But yet you continue to torment me."

"Of course! You've made it so easy!" she replied, poking him in his ribs. "it's fun. You look like a cherry. It suits you, adds color to your face." She grinned, eyes meeting his.

Looking away, he asked quietly. "Is there nothing I can do to make you stop?"

"Legolas, look at me." He met her eyes. "If it bothers you that much, I can lay off."

He smiled in relief. "That would be good. Thank you."

"Not a problem. What brought this up anyways?"

Legolas went quiet. Every time Tabatha approached him, he had butterflies in his stomach. He was convinced that her constant sexual innuendoes had led to his disturbed state. He was starting to have inappropriate dreams during the night, and waking up to discover himself hard. It was frustrating. It should not happen to him. But how to explain? "I cannot say. It's been building for a while." he confessed.

Seeing his struggle, she put her hand on his shoulder, and stroked it gently before squeezing lightly. "You don't have to justify it. It was just a question. It's ok."

He smiled gratefully into her eyes. They were pools of endless depth, shimmering at the top, deepening into blue shadows at the root. They were captivating.

...

"If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria."

"Shorter? I can do shorter." Tabatha raised her hand and waved it about. "Your cousin has baths right? Proper warm baths to soak in?" she turned to ask Gimli.

"Of course he does. My cousin, Balin, would give us a royal welcome."

"I'm in." Tabatha repeated.

Gandalf squashed the conversation "No Gimli, I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice." He wasn't explaining why so Tabatha scowled at him. She was distracted by Pippins outcry.

"Sorry." said Boromir, after accidently slicing Pippin.

"Get him! For the Shire! Hold him! Hold him down, Merry!"

"Gentlemen, that's enough." Aragorn He approached to break up the fight. Soon there was a pile of hobbits and men rolling on the ground.

"What is that?"

"Nothing, it's just a whiff of cloud." Gimli said.

"It's moving fast. Against the wind." said Boromir

"Crebain from Dunland!" Legolas cried.

"Hide!" Aragorn called to everyone.

Tabatha dove under some rocks, hiding her face. She felt a warm weight drop on top of her. A faint woody scent drifted to her nose as she was forced to inhale sharply. She shifted to relieve the pressure on her lungs.

"Don't move." Legolas hissed. He breathed in slowly, trying to slow his pounding heart. Gradually the tension faded from his body, melting him against her. He tried to focus on the call of the birds overhead, instead of the softness he was protecting. Finally, the calls disappeared, and he was able to move.

Tabatha paused, before muttering to herself. "Bloody hell, I think I'm going to need some quality time with Herbert tonight." Legolas gave her a strange look as he held out a hand to help her up.

"Spies of Saruman! The passage South is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."

...

"We'll stop here for the night."

They had been travelling for a few weeks now. Tabatha was slowly getting used to the ideas that there were no bathrooms, no hot water and only hard ground to sleep on. She still didn't like it, but there was no other choice.

"How are your feet?" Legolas asked. He'd noticed her starting to limp earlier in the day.

"Swollen and blistered." She replied.

"You must take care of them on the road. Let me see."

Tabatha painfully removed her shoes, before peeling off her socks. She had blisters on the bottom of her feet, and a toenail had rubbed a bloody wound into its neighboring toe.

Legolas inspected her feet by fading daylight, treating the blisters, and trimming her nails with a small knife. When he began massaging in a foot balm, she moaned in relief. "OMG, you're hired." she muttered. "You can give me a pedicure anytime."

Legolas smiled softly. "Tell us about your country. What do you do that you're so unused to walking?" he asked.

"Well, we drive everywhere. Horseless carriages. I'm a student, so I use one supplied by the city. We have elevators, so we don't do stairs. Not much anyways. Elevators raise people and things through a building quickly. It's a challenge for some people to make 10k steps during a day. I'm one of them. I was always so busy studying." He nodded at her to continue.

"What did you study?" asked Frodo.

"Corporate mergers and takeovers, that sort of thing. It's useless here."

"You are a scholar than." Boromir said.

"Hardly. Sort of. In my country it's mandatory for everyone to have at least 12 years of education." She poked Legolas in the ribs with her toes. "That includes sex education."

"They give you classes in sex?" he exclaimed, appalled. He looked around to meet equally astonished looks from the rest of the fellowship, jaws dropping everywhere.

She looked at their faces. "Yes they do!" she exclaimed, dissolving into a fit of laughter, tears soon running down her face. It took her a few minutes to recover, before she could explain. "They cover the theory, there's no practical's. Well, only a couple. Mostly how to use a condom."

She met blank stares. "I still have some in my bag. Anyone object to an education? Speak now or forever hold your peace." The fellowship exchanged leery looks, before nodding their heads for her to continue. She reached into her wallet and pulled out a shiny package. "Now where's Herbert?" she muttered under her breath, feeling around inside her bag.

"Who's Herbert?" Pippin asked confusedly.

"Herbert's a what, not a who." She gave a cry of triumph, pulling the dildo out of the bottom. "This is Herbert." She displayed him to the group."He's a dildo."

Legolas started, staring at her hands. "This is Herbert?" he questioned, remembering her comment to get friendly with Herbert earlier.

"That looks like a…" Pippin stared.

"I know what that looks like Pippin." Merry said, eyes wide.

"Why is she carrying it." he asked, turning to Merry in puzzlement.

"I don't know Pippin." Merry replied, shaking his head.

"Where did you get that?" Aragorn asked.

"I had Arwen help me acquire it." Tabatha grinned at him.

He froze. "Arwen assisted you in acquiring this?"

"Yes." She winked at him, "No worries mate. It was only after I explained it was to protect your virtue, that she agreed to help." She smirked, waving her finger at him. "I saw you both on that bridge."

Aragorn smiled and fingered the necklace Arwen had given him. "It was a good night." he said to himself quietly.

She let out another laugh."If you think that conversation was bad, you should have witnessed the reaction of the local wood carver. That was too funny."

"There's only one wood carver left in Imladris. He carved you this?" Aragorn asked.

"Yup. He's been alive since the dawn of this age. And apparently hasn't seen everything yet." she chortled. She looked down at her hands, before explaining. "There's two ways to apply a condom. I'll demo the fun way." She carefully extracted and placed the flavored condom in her mouth, placing her tongue in the tiny reservoir. She used her teeth to unroll the rest, down the length of Herbert. "See, no big deal."

She grinned at them, holding Herbert up, before passing it to Gandalf. He just smiled at her, passing it on to the hobbits. Sam passed it quickly to Pippin, almost afraid to touch it, whereas Pippin examined it closely.

"What's it for?" he asked, passing it on to Merry.

"It's used to prevent unplanned pregnancies. There are other ways as well."

Boromir examined the condom in the fading light. "It's well made. I cannot see any stitching."

"None involved. I think it's a type of tree resin. I just use them, I don't make them."

He passed it to Aragorn. "The wood carver must have spent a lot of time finishing this. Or did you assist in the polishing?" Boromir teased.

"Nope, it was all him. Of course, I also told him I'd need help from someone from this group to remove any splinters." She winked at Boromir. The entire fellowship froze, universally flushing bright red, except Gandalf who laughed.

"Very cleverly played, Tabatha." he said.

"We're all grateful for his skill." Aragorn said. The others nodded their heads in agreement.

...

Frodo fell, sliding down the mountain.

"Frodo" Aragorn exclaimed.

Frodo collected himself, checking if everything was ok. He noticed the missing ring. He spotted Boromir walking down to pick up the chain.

"Boromir!" Aragorn called.

Boromir said in a trance "It is a strange fate that we should suffer such fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing."

"Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo." Aragorn called.

"As you wish. I care not." Boromir responded, before handing it to Frodo, messing up his hair affectionately.

...

"We dare not risk a fire."

Tabatha was warm, but aside from Legolas she was the only one. "Time to get friendly with your neighbors boys. Who's going to be my friends tonight?" She received puzzled looks from the fellowship.

"Are we not all your friends milady?"

"Yes, but you can't all fit under my coat and get snuggly warm, now can you. So who volunteers?" Nobody moved. "Fine, I'll pick my own teddy bears." She swooped down, scooping Sam and Frodo under her coat, holding them close. They sighed as heat enveloped them.

"Hyperthermia is no laughing matter gents. In my country we rate how cold it is by how long it takes your skin to freeze. At minus 60, that's 30 seconds. Metal freezes when it's that cold. This feels like only minus 20, but you need to manage your temperature." She lectured. "Get over any inhibitions you have, and think survival. Stick your hands under your arm pits if you don't want to lose them to the cold. Stick your feet in somebody else's, with theirs in yours. Share your body heat."

The men exchanged uncomfortable glances. "Maybe we will risk a fire then?" Aragorn offered.

...

"There is a fell voice on the air." Legolas cried.

"It's Saruman." Gandalf responded.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn shouted.

"No." Gandalf denied. He tried to counter the rolling voice of Saruman, without success. The mountain fell on the fellowship. Slowly they dug themselves out of the snow.

"We must get off the mountain." Boromir cried.

Tabatha, reaching down to pull up a hobbit. "So not arguing there. We're not properly equipped for the cold or the mountains." She looked Sam over for injuries, brushing the snow off his clothes.

"Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!" Boromir exclaimed in frustration.

Aragorn countered "The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!"

"We cannot pass over a mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the Mines of Moria." Gimli demanded.

"Let the Ring-bearer decide. Frodo?" Gandalf questioned.

Frodo looked around at the fellowship, trying to feel for the best solution. "We will go though the mines."

"So be it." Gandalf said sadly.

Tabatha did a jig in relief.


	4. Chapter 4 Moria

OMG – 30 follows, 10 favorites and 14 comments. Thank you so much for the positive reviews. I've already been inspired to start the next two chapters too! BTW – adding sexual content to Moria was a challenge!

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

...

Chapter 4 Moria

"This reminds me of dancing." Tabatha said randomly. Aragorn looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow.

As they had descended the mountain, Legolas had changed from daily archery lessons to training her with knives. Today Boromir assisted, with Merry and Pippin looking on.

Currently Boromir stood behind her, right arm wrapped around her shoulders, sheathed knife to her throat, while the other arm wrapped around her waist to pin her to his body. Legolas stood before her, coaching her how to disarm Boromir without slitting her own throat.

Boromir pressed the knife harder against her throat, growling menacingly. "Do you think I'm dancing with you? Focus."

Tabatha grinned. Ignoring the knife, she placed her right hand over his fingers, slowly caressing down to his wrist. She gripped his wrist, running her thumb back up his hand to grip the base of his thumb, circling it in his palm. She dropped her voice into sultry tones. "Oh baby, I'd love it if you were dancing with me." She rotated her hips against his groin, with a slight moan.

Legolas was shocked. He had definitely not been showing her that!

She used her left hand to secure his arm to her waist, as her left foot slipped between his legs to run her toes down the length of his calf. Her left foot planted behind his, she pulled his right arm slightly away from her throat, allowing her to partially turn to address him. "Did you want to make this a vertical or a horizontal dance?" she asked, running her tongue over her lips.

Boromir's eyes flicked to the distraction of her mouth, before looking startled into her eyes. His grip loosened for a split second. Tabatha used the opening to throw him to the ground, knife still held away from her body. She trapped his arm into an arm bar, adding pressure to his elbow until his hand released the knife.

"Sorry my dance card's full. Maybe next time hon." She turned to Legolas. "Isn't that what you demo'd with Boromir?" she asked him innocently.

"Certainly not!" he responded, ears cherry red.

"Well, maybe you should try it then. It certainly made Boromir lose focus." She smirked towards the downed man, now red faced, giving him a saucy wink.

"That's one way to distract him." muttered Aragorn "And give us all bad visuals." He shook his head.

Boromir got off the ground, and presented Tabatha to Legolas, with a roguish grin "With that, I'll give you back your student for personal coaching, Legolas. Perhaps you will keep better focus when working with her than I did." Gimli guffawed in the background.

"So, did you want to dance with me?" she asked grinning at Legolas, waving the sheathed knife at him.

"Supper. It's time for supper, right Sam?" he asked desperately, looking towards the fire for help.

She pouted at him. "Spoil sport. You spoil all my fun."

…

"Do not disturb the water." Aragorn said, pulling the hobbits back from the edge. They were scattered around in various postures of boredom, waiting for Gandalf to find the password to open the doors to the mine.

Tabatha slowly beat her head against the walls, humming to herself. Legolas approached her, sitting on his heels next to her. "What is it you hum? It's different than your other music."

She hesitated. "It's a sappy song."

"So not all your music is made for embarrassment?" Legolas asked with a smile.

She grinned at him. "Nope. But the reactions I got in Rivendell were priceless. I cleared half the room, and, I also got out of singing again." She winked at him. "You seemed to enjoy it too."

He winced, but ploughed on "Would you not sing this song? I'm drawn to the melody."

She studied his eyes, seeing the sincere interest in them, before turning away to focus in the distance over the water. He settled down beside her. She began to sing softly 'She's Like the Wind' by Christopher Cross.

He put his hand over hers. Her eyes rose to meet his. "You hold a treasure of music. You should share these gifts with others."

Uncomfortable, she teased "All the songs I know?" she grinned, eyebrow rising.

He flushed, shook his head and didn't answer, looking away.

They were distracted by Frodo calling out: "It's a riddle. 'Speak 'friend' and enter.' What's the elfish word for 'friend'?"

"Mellon." Gandalf said. The doors opened with a shudder.

Gimli came up beside Legolas to crow "Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone! This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!" He laughed heartily, picturing the welcome in his mind, smile radiant on his face.

"Sounds like a party. I can't wait." Tabatha danced ahead of them to the entrance, skipping around the hobbits to get there faster. She paused in the entrance, waiting for Gandalf to light his staff.

Legolas smiled reservedly back, pacing the dwarf through the gates. "I look forward to it my friend."

In the stark light the fellowship halted. "This is no mine. It's a tomb." Boromir yelled.

Tabatha stood, looking around in horror. Vaguely she heard cries from others in the fellowship.

"No...No!" Gimli wailed.

"Goblins." Legolas said, pulling a black arrow from an armor plated corpse.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here. Now, get out of here. Get out!" Boromir yelled to the fellowship.

Tabatha's eyes were captivated by the mummified skeletons surrounding her. She'd never seen death before. Not in person. Not of people. She'd been too young to go to the funeral of her grandfather. Her other grandparents were still alive. She'd only seen death on TV, or in movies. Road kill occasionally.

The bodies were in torn and tattered armor. Blood had long ago dried to dirt stains on the bodies and crumbling stairs. She remained fixated on the remains, not noticing the weapons drawing around her.

A splash behind her, a movement in her peripheral vision and the hobbits frantic calls jolted her from her petrified stance. She turned to see Frodo dangling from the squid. Aragorn and Boromir dashed forwards, swords swinging as arrows raced into the fray.

"Into the mines!" Aragorn called.

Legolas grabbed her arm as he passed, and dragged her further into darkness.

"Into the cave!"

"Run!"

The squid brought the entrance crashing down. Tabatha's breathing was harsh, gulping in air.

"We have now but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world." Gandalf said.

"Are you alright?" Legolas asked in concern.

"No…No, I'm not alright." she responded.

"What's wrong?" his question attracted the attention of the others.

"I've never seen death before." she answered in a strangely flat voice. Her answer startled the rest of the fellowship.

"Never?" he questioned, seeking an answer in her eyes.

"It's not exactly common where I come from. Old people die. People die in accidents, or from disease. They die in hospitals, not out in the open." her toneless voice replied, eyes unfocused in memory.

"They don't die of violence?" he asked quietly.

"Maybe in other countries. There's some family violence and criminals but most people don't see it. I saw a fistfight outside a bar between two guys once. They both were drunk. That's it." Tabatha's sight returned to see Legolas looking at her with compassion.

"Sounds like the Shire." Merry said in sympathy. "We were only hit if we were caught liberating food, but no other violence either." He shook his head in memory.

"It must be wondrous to live in a place that knows so little fear of violence. Here, even the elves fear to travel. We have many who defend our borders who have seen and dealt much death. We have lost many in the fight." Legolas said sadly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

She leaned against him for a moment, before starting to shake. "Guess I'll have to get used to it." she sighed.

"I'll help. It's strange to me too." Pippin said, slipping his hand into hers.

"Thanks Pippin." She squeezed his hand for a moment.

"Quietly now." Gandalf admonished. "It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."

…

The first night was quiet, everyone feeling the darkness pressing down, depressed from earlier events. The second night was better. They had managed to find a small storage room, easily defensible, in which to spend the night. They sat around eating dinner, when Tabatha was asked once again about her homeland.

"Let's not and say we did. I'd rather do something to cheer us up." she said.

"Like what?" Pippin asked.

"Well, whenever we had sleepovers, we used to sit around, tell ghost stories and play games."

"You want to tell ghost stories in Moria?" Gimli asked in abhorrence.

She shrugged "So no ghost stories."

"What game would you play in a mine?" Aragorn asked.

She said an evil grin. "We could always play 'Truth or Dare'. It would definitely distract you from this place."

"What's 'Truth or Dare'?" Pippin asked with interest.

Gandalf looked over at her. "I'll keep watch then." he said, quickly wandering out of the room.

…

Sometime later, Boromir turned to Tabatha. "I dare you to kiss the elf. On the lips." He smirked at her. Legolas just glared at him in apprehension.

She shrugged her shoulders, got up, and dropped to her knees in front of Legolas. Eyes wide, he stared back at her. She grinned, before reaching up to slowly stroke his temple with her fingers, trailing the outside of his ear before resting her hand on his jaw. He shuddered. She leaned forward, tilting his chin up to meet her. Her lips descended slowly, placing a soft innocent kiss on his lips. She stroked again along his jaw line with her thumb as she leaned back, before returning to her place in the circle. Legolas remained leaning forward, frozen where she left him, until Gimli's howling laugher broke his trance.

"Liked that did you?" Gimli asked Legolas, poking him in the side.

Legolas flushed in response, attempting to ignore the gleeful dwarf.

Tabatha looked at Boromir. "My turn. You want to play dirty, do you? I can get down with that." She rubbed her hands together. "What's your poison? Truth…or dare?"

Boromir started to look back at her a little uneasily.

Aragorn looked at Boromir in sympathy, shaking his head. He'd already figured out that letting Tabatha have a turn was a bad idea when she was explaining the rules of the game. Frodo and Sam had quickly dropped out to 'catch up on sleep', and thus avoid playing. Gandalf never started. He knew Boromir was asking for trouble playing with her.

"Truth" he said with hesitation. During his last dare she had made him strip off his tunic. She had whistled and clapped as he removed it, embarrassing him thoroughly. Truth couldn't be that bad, could it?

She smirked. "How often do you masturbate?"

Gimli started desperately coughing and clearing his throat. Merry and Pippin looked between them wide-eyed. Aragorn flinched. When Legolas looked confused, Aragorn whispered a single word in Sindarin, after which Legolas looked appalled.

Boromir shook his head, his face flushed. She couldn't really be asking what he thought, could she? "That is not a conversation for a lady." he tried with trepidation.

Her eyes locked with Boromir's. "No worries mate, I'm not a lady. Now answer the question." she demanded.

Dismayed he replied "It's not something to discuss." wishing the ground would open and swallow him.

"Don't worry, I'm not asking for details. I could make that the forfeit." she grinned at him.

If possible, Merry and Pippin's eyes grew wider.

Alarmed, Boromir glared at her, unable to speak. The others looked on as he was unable to hold her gaze, instead fixating on the floor in front of him, shoulders hunched.

"Just tell us how often." Tabatha prodded. "If you're really trying to tell me you've never tried it, are you sure it still works?" she teased.

A quick darting glare stabbed her eyes. "It works." he growled.

"You're not married. If you don't play with yourself, how do you know?" she asked in a falsely innocent voice.

He caved. "When there's no need for night watches." He wiped his face in his hand for a moment, before retreating to relieve Gandalf.

By common consensus, Tabatha never got another turn that night, or any other night in the mines.

…

"I have no memory of this place." Gandalf said.

"Are we lost?" Pippin asked.

"No." Merry responded.

"I think we are." he replied.

"Gandalf's thinking." Merry shushed him.

…

"You like her don't you." Aragorn whispered to Legolas, watching him carefully.

"She makes me confused." he confessed. "Sometimes my thoughts scatter around her, like leaves on a windy day. Other times my mind goes blank at her touch." He hesitated. "I'm drawn to her."

He smiled "You're falling quickly my friend."

"I cannot." he replied.

Aragorn's lips twitched in response. "I don't think you have a choice."

…

"Let me risk a little more light. Behold...the great realm and Dwarf-city of Dwarrowdelf." Gandalf said.

"There's an eye opener, and no mistake." Sam whispered in wonder.

Tabatha stood in revere, eyes trying to absorb every detail. "Wow. And you did it with such primitive tools too." she said.

"Primitive?" Gimli cried offended. "I'll have you know Dwarves are masters at mining. There's none better in Middle Earth."

"Relax Gimli. It's a compliment. Even in my world, this place would take years to build." Tabatha told him, slapping him affectionately on the shoulder.

…

"'Here lies Balin...son of Fundin...Lord of Moria.' He is dead then. It is as I have feared."Gandalf sighed.

"We must move on. We cannot linger." Legolas cautioned the group. He was ignored in favor of Gimli.

Tabatha stepped forward to wrap an arm around Gimli in comfort. "I'm sorry for your loss Gimli." she said to the wailing dwarf. He made no acknowledgement of hearing her.

Gandalf handed Pippin his staff and hat, to enable him to pick up a book from the ground. He began to translate the last entries in the volume. "'They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates...but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums...drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.'"

On cue, Pippin knocked over the skeleton into the well. As the fellowship turned to him in alarm, the attached chain rattled against the edge, pulling a bucket after it. The clattering echoed loudly in the room. Pippin flinched, wilting under the glares surrounding him.

"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid of us of your stupidity." Gandalf ordered harshly.

The fellowship froze in a pause of stilted silence, listening, before drums sound a staccato beat in the deep. Frodo's sword Sting began to glow blue. "Orcs." someone cried out.

Boromir looked out of the room, before slamming the door, narrowly avoiding being shot with arrows. "They have a cave-troll." he said in dismay.

"Let them come! There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath." Gimli challenged, climbing on top of the tomb, brandishing his axe.

…

Orcs broke the reinforced door, piling into the room. Arrows fired to meet them, stopping few. Swords were quickly drawn. Then the cave troll lumbered in, chains whistling in the air as his handlers lost control.

Tabatha was not happy. She was backed in a corner, knives drawn. The troll swung his chains near her, breaking off chips of the wall as shrapnel. "Whips and chains excite me." she muttered under her breath, leaping out of the way. Blood ran down the side of her face from an orc blade. She also had a cut to her arm, and scraped her knees diving from another.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this." Sam called from next to her.

Legolas looked over at them. His adrenalin surged higher as she dived from the troll, only to face an orc with blade raised. Quickly he launched an arrow into its skull. She looked at him, waved and raised her knives to meet the next, black blood streaming down the blades. He turned to fire arrows into the troll.

…

"Frodo! Frodo!" Sam fell to his knees next to Frodo, sobbing.

"Oh no!" Aragorn cried in alarm, turning him over. Frodo stirred under his hand.

"He's alive." Sam exclaimed.

"I'm all right. I'm not hurt." Frodo said.

"You should be dead. That spear would have skewered a wild boar." Aragorn said in disbelief.

"I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye." Gandalf peered down at the hobbit.

Frodo unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his armor.

"Mithril. You are full of surprises, Master Baggins." Gimli said.

New sounds of orcs broke into their obliviousness. "To the Bridge of Khazah-dum!" Gandalf cried.

…

"What new this new devilry?" Boromir questioned in panic.

"A Balrog. A demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you. Run! Quickly!" Gandalf commanded.

…

"You cannot pass!" Gandalf cried. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. You shall not pass." Gandalf drove his staff into the bridge, holding firm against the horror before him.

The balrog fell from the bridge, flicking his whip as he fell to grasp hold of his bane. "Fly, you fools." Gandalf gasped out, before falling into darkness.

…

The fellowship reeled into the light. Expressions of shock and horror had crossed each feature, finally etching sorrow into each face.

Aragorn was the first to recover. "Legolas, get them up." he commanded.

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir berated him.

"By nightfall, these hills will be swarming with orcs." he chided. "We must reach the woods of Lothlorien. Come, Boromir. Legolas. Gimli, get them up."

The four of them worked to collect the remaining group. "On your feet Sam." Aragorn coaxed. Boromir placed his arm around Merry, turning him to join the others. Gimli brought Pippin into with a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Legolas approached Tabatha. She stood perplexed, staring into her memories. She remembered Gandalf. He was there at the end. Had she destroyed the storyline? The details were foggy in her head, trapped. "Gandalf's supposed to live." she repeated to herself in disbelief. It was a broken tape, repeating in an endless echo.

Legolas pulled her into a quick hug. She wrapped her arms around him, responding to his stimulus, unaware of her body. He ended the hug, leading her to join the group. Pippin's hand grasped hers in a hard squeeze, as slowly the fellowship collected itself, making haste for the promise of sanctuary and comfort.


	5. Chapter 5 Lothlorien

OMG – 31 follows, 12 favorites and 21 comments. Thank you so much for the positive reviews. This one has more sexual content again, but poor Legolas is spared the worst. Everyone else isn't. ;-) Very little book or movie; nothing much happened here in either.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

...

Chapter5 Lothlorien

At their first rest stop, Legolas was treating her wounds. "How do you say thank you in your language?" she asked.

"Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you)" he responded.

"Le hannon." she repeated." Le hannon for your arrow Legolas. I would have been dead without it." She shuddered in memory, still somewhat in shock.

He looked into her eyes for a moment. They still showed traces of confusion and sorrow, but were overwhelmingly filled with gratitude. He nodded his head in response, raising his hand to finish cleaning the wound on her head. "You need more practice in facing orcs." he told her seriously.

She gave him a tiny smile. "You'll just have to kill the next cave troll faster so I can focus."

His eyes flicked back to hers as lips twitched in response. "I'll do my best."

…

"The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark." Haldir smirked down at Gimli, stepping between archers with weapons drawn.

"Haldir of Lorien. We come here for help. We need your protection." Aragorn pleaded.

"Aragorn, these woods are perilous. We should go back." Gimli said nervously.

"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. Come she is waiting." Haldir scowled down at them.

…

Haldir demanded that Gimli be blindfolded to be escorted through Lothlorien. Gimli vehemently disagreed being the only one, creating a stalemate until Aragorn said. "We will all be blindfold, even Legolas."

Legolas whispered to Aragorn "You know she'll make both you and Haldir pay for this, don't you."

"It's the best solution." he groaned back, shrugging his shoulders.

"Legolas, you have to tell me. Are all elves into BDSM?" Tabatha asked as the blindfold was tied around her eyes.

"BDSM?" Haldir asked.

Legolas winced, shaking his head. "Don't ask. Please just don't ask." he pleaded.

"In fact a gag for her would not be remiss." Boromir called.

"Hey, that's not right. I didn't need a gag the last time I was blindfolded." She poked him. "Tell him Legolas. I don't need a gag."

Haldir sent an inquiring look towards Legolas.

"It wasn't necessary…Of course we didn't know you yet." Legolas said with a little smirk. Aragorn's lips twitched, while Boromir broke into a laugh. Some tension fell off the rest of the fellowship.

"Finally, a smile!" Tabatha did a little jig. "Lead on to rest, a warm bath and a proper bathroom. You have no idea what these guys have put me through. They never even warned me about the leaves!"

Aragorn stopped Haldir from asking. "You don't want to know."

"Sure, I see how it is. Cover up your abuse of my person. The truth will out!" Tabatha cried, before settling down to a long dark walk, still grumbling to herself.

…

They retired to a pavilion at the base of the tree, setup for the fellowship. They had been there for a few days, and Tabatha was bored. Wounds had started to close, even most bruises starting to fade. Frodo still had one from the troll spear, but would be fine in a few weeks.

Tabatha had racked her brain over the last months to remember most of the key events from the movies, but only vague images that made no sense to her had formed. She knew Gandalf would be back, but not how until last night. She had felt the call to follow Galadriel to her mirror.

"Will you look into the mirror?" Galadriel asked her.

"What will I see?" Tabatha asked with curiosity.

"Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror shows many things. Things that were… things that are...and some things that have not yet come to pass." Galadriel said.

Peering into its depths, Tabatha watched the movies repeat before her eyes. She also saw the MTV alternative version of the Council of Elrond.

Galadriel's expression had been shocked as she also watched. She probed Tabatha "Did you tell the others about the second council?"

"No; I've been l protecting their innocence." she smirked at Galadriel.

Galadriel gave a light tinkling laugh, trying to keep a straight face.

"I need to corrupt them a lot more before we get into a discussion of sexual piercings. I'm not sure the hobbits will ever get there. I'm also sure the location of the one ring piercing will disturb them all." She laughed again, tears again running down her face.

"You have surprised me greatly Tabatha. I hold more hope for the future with your visions played before me. I am saddened by the loss of so many dear to me."

Tabatha offered. "Now that I remember fully, perhaps I can make a difference. There are only three deaths I recognize. Boromir, Haldir and Theoden. Theoden's son died too, but I don't know any details to be able to change anything. Beside a river isn't helpful." She looked down for a moment. "Maybe then I won't be useless baggage." she said sadly.

"How will you prevent them?" Galadriel asked in disagreement. "You are no warrior, even with the training you've received. A few months of practice will not make a difference to change their deaths."

Tabatha thought out loud. "Well, ensuring Boromir doesn't collect firewood without a shield is a start. I have in mind a few other ideas. For instance, do you guys have any silk cloth here?" she asked.

"What's your idea?" Galadriel asked.

"I'm thinking that the fellowship and your troops need a new look.' Tabatha bounced on her tired feet. "Starting with silk undershirts. After all, they worked for the Mongols."

...

She had been training daily with Legolas in knife fighting. Her fighting was improving, but damn, she was in heat. This morning's exercise was a repeat of disarming techniques. When she tried the same trick on Legolas, he lost his composure.

"Do you think you would try that with an orc! Again, properly this time." he demanded.

She sighed, and tried again. Without success. And again. And again.

Finally she asked to change positions, to see what she was missing. Her right arm slid around his shoulders, as her left wrapped around his middle. She held the sheathed knife to his throat. A second later she was on the ground.

"You're going to have to go slower if you want me to learn anything." she grumbled at him. She got back in position, sliding her arms around him. A familiar faint woody scent drifted back to her nose. She breathed in with a sigh. He broke down the movements slowly, turning to see if she caught the difference. Her eyes were held captive by his for a single eternal moment. It was broken by clapping from Boromir.

"I see it doesn't matter which position she's in, she succeeds in being an effective distraction." he called to them.

Legolas flushed red, closed his eyes for a moment, and stepped away before saying "Perhaps that is enough practice for today. Tomorrow we'll try something new."

"But I haven't got this right yet." she said quietly.

"As Boromir said, your modifications appear effective." he said, refusing to meet her eyes.

…

She retreated back to the pavilion before lunch. She dug Herbert from her bag, before announcing to Aragorn "I'm going to go have a long discussion with Herbert. I've missed him. With the choice scenery around here, I'm liable to explode or tie someone up to jump if I don't."

"That would not be a good thing. Please keep the discussion quiet. The rest of us are innocent still." Aragorn said with twitching lips and a shake of his head.

She smirked at him. "I'll do my best not to corrupt you all. At least not until you ask." She winked at him, before calling to everyone. "Try not to miss me. I'll be busy. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"What's wouldn't she do?" Pippin whispered in confusion.

"I have no idea." Merry responded with trepidation. "I'm afraid to ask."

…

"Lunch will be brought to you shortly." Haldir said to the fellowship, looking around. "Where's the girl?" Haldir looked down at his friend.

"Down that way." Aragorn told him, pointing. "Do not disturb her right now, it would not be wise." he cautioned.

Haldir heard her faint cry. Ignoring Aragorn, he signaled his brothers to flank him, as he drew his bow and crept through the trees.

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "You've been warned." he called after them.

"Oh Herbert, I've missed you so...that's the spot." She moaned, breathing quicker, gyrating on the ground. She lay on a blanket in a small clearing, stark nude. One hand travelled over her body, caressing, while the other moved Herbert in a slow rhythm. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of a twig snapping.

"Did you come to watch, or did you want to join in?" she leered at Haldir, running her eyes down his body, mentally striping his clothing off. Her eyes returned north to see his shocked expression.

Haldir was stunned. He'd never come across a situation like this in all his thousands of years. He'd never even heard stories of one. With nothing to go on, he floundered. His eyes darted to either side, to where his brothers waited with equally red faces.

Her eyes followed his, spotting them as well. Her Cheshire grin grew wider. "I've always wanted to try multiple partners. I'm sure I can accommodate. I'd love to have something hard to swallow."

She moaned again, arching against the pressure Herbert was applying to her insides, rubbing a thumb on her clit.

She put a finger in her mouth, sucking hard on it, before continuing "I've missed oral. My fingers don't work, and Herbert here just doesn't satisfy. Besides, there's only one of him. Won't one of you come over here and accommodate me? Be a good host?" she fluttered her eyes in their direction.

"Rumil, Orophin return to the fellowship. I'll handle this." Haldir commanded in consternation. Beet red, his brothers retreated, speechless as they gratefully vanished back along the trail.

"Goodie." Tabatha exclaimed. "Well, don't be shy. Drop your pants, get a hard on and get over here."

His eyes widened further. He snarled at her "Your behavior is inappropriate."

"You need to return to the fellowship now, and stop what you're doing." He demanded, voice rising towards the end, studiously looking over her head, trying not to see her in his peripheral vision.

She immediately protested. "But I'm not finished! Can't I get at least one happy moment before returning to the prudes? It won't take long, especially if you help." She winked at him. "We could both be happy." she suggested with a twinkle.

"You're finished now. Dress." he commanded, his voice snarling.

She sighed. "Fine then. Can you hold this?" she held Herbert out to him. "I need to clean it. I assume you'd prefer we visit a stream, unless you want me to lick it in front of you." she teased, eyebrow rising.

He eyed it in revulsion. "Why would I agree to hold such a thing?"

"It's a handle. That part hasn't been used." She held it in front of him again.

"What?" she exclaimed in frustration. "It's not like I suggested you get intimately acquainted with Herbert, now did I?"

Impatiently she thrust it against him, forcing him to either grab the handle, or allow it to touch his clothes.

"I'm just asking you to hold it while I dress like you're demanding. It's just a piece of wood. You're an elf. You shouldn't be afraid of a tree." she said with exasperation.

She turned, unembarrassed by her nudity, quickly wiped herself with some 'good' leaves, and dressed.

"So, where's the nearest stream." she asked, walking up to him to take Herbert back, deliberately holding Herbert with reverence in front of her.

…

Their expressions drew laughter from the fellowship.

"What do you supposed happened to them?" Gimli asked, watching Rumil and Orophin returning red faced down the path.

"Herbert." Aragorn answered.

"Oh."

"You should travel with her." Gimli called after them. "I think Legolas has spent more time red than any other color." he said with a snort.

They both flinched in unison, fleeing the area.

…

Erdolliel was a pompous ass. She'd been forced to sit beside him and Tolandiel during a feast. Erdolliel was completely appalled that a 'delicate flower' like her was forced to travel without a chaperon while his friend Tolandiel was equally appalled that Tabatha had to travel in pants. So she went completely prima donna on them.

"You have no idea how agonizing it's been traveling with _nine_ guys. All of them are uneducated louts and don't treat me well." She pouted.

"I would think that Prince Legolas would treat you as befitting a lady."

"Well, he's been nice." she sighed. "He even asked me to sing after the others banned me. But he's the only one." she said sadly, giving an eavesdropping Legolas a covert wink.

"What's it been like?" Tolandiel asked in concern.

Dramatically Tabatha spilled the story "Well, they spoil all my fun. First they don't allow me to sing. My voice isn't that bad, you know?" she cast her eyes downward, bringing them up with a wet shimmer. "Next their upset at me mentioning dancing. I don't have a clue why." She shook her head in false bewilderment. "I love to dance!" she sniffed. "Lastly they even bared me from playing games…How fair is that!" She finished on a high distressed note.

"That doesn't seem very nice." Erdolliel commented.

She fluttered her eyes at him. "You'd play games with me, wouldn't you?" she asked in a quivering voice.

"Yes I would." Erdolliel said resolutely.

"On your honor? You'd really play with me?" she peered at him hopefully, blinking away her threating tears.

"You have been treated deplorability by your companions' milady." Erdolliel said, scowling over at the fellowship. "I would be honored to play a game with you." he replied. "I'm certain Tolandiel will be equally as chivalrous." he added.

"You're so sweet." She smiled up at him. She gripped Erdolliel's hand a moment in gratitude. "Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you). Will you come to our pavilion tonight? You and your friends?" she pleaded.

"I'll be there, milady." he assured her.

…

"Should we warn him?" Gimli asked.

"I don't think I could find the right words." Legolas said.

"Besides, wouldn't it be more fun to watch him experience her full effect?" Boromir smirked. He hurried after Erdolliel.

"You have pointed out our errors noble elf. It would be most remiss of us if we were to allow this travesty to continue. Please allow us to chaperon this game. On our honor we would not prevent Tabatha from playing, and will watch your example closely." he assured the elf.

Erdolliel looked at Boromir uncertainty. He was missing something, but he nodded in agreement, before walking away.

"Oh Boromir, darling, I knew you didn't hate me." Tabatha grabbed him from behind in a hug, resting her head on his back.

He turned to face her, smile on his face. "You cause trouble wherever you go, Tabatha."

She gave him a sly wink. "I'd promise to behave if you'll join us."

"Like you did in the last game?" he asked in disbelief.

"I behaved only as long as you did. You could promise too." she offered slyly.

He leaned forward to whisper in her ear "And what did I do wrong?" he asked in trepidation.

She whispered back in his "You dared me to kiss someone who wasn't you. You shouldn't have brought Legolas into it." She prodded him in the stomach.

"You would prefer to kiss me?" he asked, looking at her with surprise.

She slapped his arm. "You wish. I'm currently surrounded by a banquet of dreamy males." She fluttered her eyes, dramatically clutching her heart.

She studied his face for a moment. "You might rate a friend with benefits title if you get lucky, but you're no main course."

She patted his cheek in mock sympathy. "Sadly, you'll have to look elsewhere for a woman who'd have you. Do try not to cry, ok?" she consoled him.

He laughed and nodded.

She walked over to the rest of the fellowship to let them know the plans tonight. "Bye-bye boys, I've found some new friends. I've invited them back to our place tonight. " She waved her hands at the fellowship.

"If you're not coming, do try to have fun without me; but don't do anything I wouldn't do." she called cheerfully, skipping out the door.

…

"I see you look at him. You undress him with your eyes." Haldir said to her, watching her track Legolas in the afternoon crowd.

She ran her eyes deliberately up his body. "Honey, he's not the only one I'm undressing. You're all candidates."

He flushed, before responding "He will not love you."

"You're implying I've asked him to." she countered.

"He is a prince. An elf for whom love is immortal. He will not fall under the spell of a harlot."

"I'm no harlot." she parried.

"Really? You propositioned my brothers and I just yesterday. _At the same time_." he ground out.

"As if you'd accept. You elves are too much a bunch of prudes to join in an orgy. Asking you to was just hilarious. Consider it punishment for not letting me finish." she smirked at him, before poking him in the stomach. "You were warned not to disturb me; I double checked."

"I heard you cry out. I had to investigate." He returned.

"So you're the self-assigned voyeur?" she asked in disbelief. "After all, I was only playing by myself when you interrupted."

"And with Herbert."

She glared at him. "Please." She waved his objection away. "He doesn't count. He also serves the purpose of preventing me from tying someone up for my own pleasure."

He pulled back in shock. "None of our kind would take pleasure in someone tied up."

"Really? Legolas did, the first time he met me." She smirked at him. "I dare you to go over right now and ask him if he didn't get any pleasure having me on my knees and bound before him within minutes of meeting me."

He looked at her appalled.

"No? If you're too scared, then I will. I'll also tell why I'm asking, and you're not." she challenged. "Tonight, during game night. You'll be there right? You're not too scared to play a game with me are you?" She taunted him.

He looked into her eyes. "Challenge accepted."

…

She poked Boromir in the side as they walked back to the pavilion that night. "Now remember, be fair to others; don't involve them in a dare they're not ready for."

"You think he wasn't ready?" he asked, looking at her sideways.

She looked at him seriously, before asking quietly. "Do you know if he has even been kissed before? Not knowing that, would you make his first kiss in front of an audience? Something to be teased for?"

Boromir looked ashamed for a moment. "I did not think of it like that. Earlier I saw his eyes follow you with interest, and asked you to do what he would not."

"Thus your public humiliation in turn. Now, anyone thinking about that game is more likely to recollect your humiliation over his." she grinned up at him.

He grimaced in agreement. "As you say, milady."

…

Word of a new game had spread. A crowd had gathered around the pavilion to watch. Tabatha addressed the crowd, explaining the rules quickly. She settled into the circle, surrounded by most of the fellowship, Erdolliel, Tolandiel, Haldir and his brothers.

Boromir leaned over to advise her new friends in undertones. "Don't try to match her. She'll eat you alive." His serious warning filled them with trepidation.

The first masturbation question from Moria, when posed to Rumil, dispersed most of the crowd, including all other females. The dare to Orophin, to demonstrate a kneeling sexual position cleared more. Like a tragedy before their eyes, the remaining male population was trapped, frozen in horror, ears painted cherry red, watching the spectacle before them.

"Haldir, please tell us, why do all elves seem to carry blindfolds and bindings if they're not into BDSM? And do explain the acronym for the more innocent among us." She winked at him.

"I'm unfamiliar with the term." he said.

"You are that innocent?" she teased in false astonishment." Legolas, did you want to help translate the acronym?" she called over to him.

"The floor is yours." he parried.

She grinned evilly. "Brilliant. Well, BDSM stands for "Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, and the hidden DS - Dominance and Submission. Any and all can be used in kinky sex games. Bondage; tying up a partner for sexual pleasure. Discipline is punishment for misbehavior, including spanking and whipping of a partner. Sadism; getting sexual pleasure causing pain in a partner. Masochism; getting sexual pleasure receiving pain from a partner. Dominance and Submission; two sides of a coin on who rules in the bedroom. All of it should be done with prior consent, and a safe word to stop the play."

Her new friends now looked like facing a Balrog would be a more relaxing way to spend an evening. Boromir leaned over to them again. "This is why we refused to play with her." Erdolliel and Tolandiel nodded in horrified enlightenment.

By this point, everyone in hearing range was red, some looking faint. So she repeated her question "So Haldir, why do all elves seem to carry blindfolds and bindings if they're not into BDSM? Do they want to be?" she asked, smiling innocently at him.

"Border guards carry blindfolds and binding to bring spies in for questioning, alive. Other elves do not. We do NOT carry them for sex games." Haldir ground out.

"If you're too innocent to have heard of BDSM, are you sure you should be answering for the rest of them?" she smirked at him.

He took a deep calming breath, before turning to the prince. "Legolas," Haldir asked, "did you get any pleasure having Tabatha on her knees and bound before you within minutes of first meeting her?"

"She was found outside Imladris, and taken in for questioning as a possible spy. She was able to prove she was not." Haldir nodded, reassured at his friend's answer.

Tabatha shook her finger at him, "Tut, tut Legolas, you didn't answer the question. That's why you bound me, not how you felt. So tell us," her smile changed to an evil grin. "Were you pleased to have me kneeling bound at your feet?"

Legolas glared over at her.

"From that look, not as much as he would right now." Gimli crowed gleefully. "If he could add a gag."

"Gimli's right. Before I took more _pleasure_ in capturing a potential threat, but worried about others that may have been missed. Now I would be _most pleased_ to have my embarrassment ended, even if it included binding and gagging."

She smirked at Legolas. "Kinky. For you, anytime." She held her wrists together for binding, but shrugged when he didn't follow through.

She sighed tragically, shaking her head. "I started to fear I've corrupted you but you are still so innocent." She held her pose for a moment, before she threw up her hands in mock disbelief. "What am I saying? Everyone here is."

She shook her head in horror. "What has become of my life. Am I doomed to be surrounded with prudes and get no action?"

…

Aragorn sat, smoking his pipe after lunch, contemplating last night's events. He was sure the elves would never be the same after her visit. His eyes rose to meet Galadriel's. She smiled at him in amusement, before he heard her voice inside his head.

"Do not worry. She does more to distract them from the war than you realize. Her open enjoyment of her body and its needs will have some questioning reasons to wait to fall in love and bind themselves. Having an immortal life takes away the urgency to overcome fears of intimacy. Her pleasure will have them thinking the benefits may be worth it."

Aragorn nodded at her words. "Following her inspiration, children will overrun these woods."

"That would not be a bad thing."

…

She stopped Legolas with a hand to his chest. "So you'd like me bound before you?" she teased him in the morning.

"You continue to torment me." he sighed.

She stroked his arm in sympathy. "What would you do with me next?" she asked with a smile, looking into his eyes.

He was speechless.

She leaned forward, almost touching his lips, to whisper. "Would you kiss me?"

Her warm breath heated his lips, surrounding him with a minty scent. She waited, patiently.

He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes to sigh. "You tempt me." He opened his eyes, floundering for something to latch onto. She met his gaze with confidence.

His head was spinning. His heart accelerated in his chest. He was lost.

He breathed out. He let himself fall as his lips softly met hers. She sighed.

…

The fellowship was wearing their new undershirts. It wasn't hard to convince them; Tabatha ordered each member to change into theirs, promising to shred their over tunics to ribbons if they didn't wear them at all times. A second undershirt was given to each, to be unpacked during washes. She promised to verify their use at every rest stop, with additional dire consequences should they fail to abide her orders.

Rebellion ceased entirely when Galadriel reaffirmed their necessity. Complaints, however, continued.

They now stood on the bank of the river, receiving other gifts before departure. Tabatha was sad to leave; she had found peace here, and they had toilets.

She embraced Galandriel, and whispered "I'll try to find a way to save Haldir. Try to get a hat on his head. Ensure the others march with the new undershirts. It may save a few more lives."

Galandriel nodded to her, and waved goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6 Corruption of Boromir

OMG – 45 follows, 21 favorites and 29 comments.

Have no fear to be a critical reviewer. It's rare to get good negative feedback, and I value it highly. That said, I've become addicted to reading your reviews multiple times daily, and love everyone. Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you) all for the positive reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

...

Ch 6 The Corruption of Boromir

Slowly the fellowship paddled down the river. Tabatha sat in the boat with Legolas and Gimli softly singing Enya's Wild Child under her breath. Legolas sat at the back of the boat, slowly paddling with a soft smile on his face, listening to her sing.

"Seems a pointless song to me. All this talk about nothing." Gimli grumbled.

"Very well, Gimli. How about this one?" Tabatha switched to Nickleback's 'If Today Was Your Last Day'. Gimli grunted, happier.

"I thought you'd choose one that would turn the elf red again." he grumbled.

"Maybe this one will also turn you red." She winked at Legolas, who regarded her with rising trepidation. She sang Def Leppard 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' loud enough for the entire fellowship to hear.

Legolas glanced at Gimli to discover his eyes were wide and his face was burning. The entire fellowship appeared to be shocked into silence, only the rhythmic splash of the paddles in the water making any sound. Unanimously they avoided looking in her direction.

Tabatha looked around at the surrounding cherry red faces and smirked, before dissecting the song. "Sugar refers to sex of course. The bottle and bubble references always make me picture long lines of flavored lube bottles instead of some girl losing her virginity. I guess I'm too literal at times." She sighed.

From the next boat, Pippin perked up to ask "What flavors does lube have?"

"I don't know, anything really? Fruits, nuts or spices. Though they use spices for other effects, like warming and freezing lube."

"Why would you want those?" Pippin asked with curiosity.

"Well, the warming one's great, it adds heat to the action until you feel like you're burning up. Great for a quickie. Freezing is good to slow the action down, for an all-day love fest."

"I think I'd go for flavors myself." he said.

"Really Pip? I thought you guys only had sex after marriage."

"Yes that's true. But one day I'll marry. I'd use flavors then." he responded, shaking his head positively.

"Flavors are good for oral sex, but there's these great condoms that have freezing on the inside, and warming on the outside. They're great to drive someone insane with lust."

"Why would you want someone insane with lust?" he asked.

"Pippin, you are so innocent." she responded with a smile, shaking her head.

"Gimli, please don't challenge her again." Aragorn ordered at the next break. "For all our sakes." he said taking a deep calming breath. "Some of us like being innocent."

…

Boromir wasn't happy. Tabatha was still making them all wear the stupid undershirt, and true to her word, was checking each member was wearing theirs at every stop. Legolas wore a blue one she had said brought out his eyes. That was the same reason Aragorn was given when he had received a grey one.

She didn't give him a pretty explanation like that when handing over his pink shirt. There had been a limited supply of un-dyed silk in Lothlorien; profits were higher on colored fabrics. Pink was actually one of the more expensive, right after purple.

It was also a color used exclusively by _females_ in Gondor.

His expression had shown he wasn't impressed when it was presented to him. "This thing is hot." he complained, seeking a reprieve.

"I will allow you to take off other layers Boromir, but the undershirt and your armor stays on." Tabatha told him. "I don't care if you're bathing. It's now part of your skin and will stay there until we're secured indoors somewhere. And you better believe I'll start checking your compliance during your bath if I have to." She turned to the rest of them. "That goes for the rest of you too." She glared at them all.

Aragorn gave an exasperated look towards Boromir. The shirts weren't that bad, and based on Galadriel's backing, he suspected they would play a key role in what was to come. Based on Tabatha's reactions, he knew Boromir would be involved.

…

"Frodo. The Argonath. Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin." reverently Aragorn told the hobbit. The fellowship paddled in awe between the twin warning statues, tiny in their shadow.

…

The next morning, Legolas woke with a sigh. During the night his dreams had been nebulous, filled with an unnamed longing, and the remembrance of Tabatha on his lips.

"Had yourself some good dreams last night laddie?" Gimli smirked at him in the morning.

"What do you mean?" Legolas

"You were talking in your sleep." Gimli responded.

"What did you say?" Pippin asked Legolas.

"I don't remember." Legolas said, flushing red and carefully avoiding looking in Tabatha's direction.

"What did he say?" Pippin asked Gimli.

Gimli glanced over at Tabatha. He had realized she was protective of his embarrassment. "Well, I don't rightly know, it was in elfish. But he seemed happy enough." Gimli said dismissively.

Pippin went to ask another question, when Merry stopped him with a shake of his head, and a low whisper to drop the subject.

…

Finally, the fellowship approached Rauros Falls. Aragorn lead them to the nearby shore, securing the boats. "We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the North." Aragorn told the group.

"Oh yes? Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil…an impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks. And after that, it gets even better. Festering, stinking marshland as far as the eye can see." Gimli ranted in objection.

"That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf." Aragorn told him.

"Recover my strength" Gimli sputtered.

"We should leave now." Legolas said uneasily.

Aragorn refused. "No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness."

"It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near. I can feel it." Legolas cautioned.

…

In the distance Boromir saw Merry and Pippin quickly being surrounded by Uruk-hai. He ran towards them, sword drawn. He stopped the blow from the first Uruk-hai to reach them. Taking a moment, he blew loudly into his horn.

"Run! Run!" Boromir called to them, trying to get them to move to safety while he covered their retreat. Merry and Pippin were frozen in shock, looking back at him. Resolutely he stood, determined to defend his companions against the increasing odds.

Over the ridge, a large Uruk-hai raised his bow, launching his arrow towards Boromir. The arrow struck his shoulder; Boromir was knocked off-balance to the ground.

He stumbled to his feet, swinging his sword in increasing desperation. The second arrow hit his left side. Pain exploded in his brain, as he felt his blood weep from the wound. He fell to his knees for a moment, facing the hobbits. Using sheer determination, he rose once more to inflict further damage.

Tabatha double-timed it towards Boromir from the river, bow in hand. She spotted the Uruk-hai with the deadly arrows. Shaking, she stood with her bow, desperately hoping she could make this shot. Her arrow launched, slicing open the arm of the Uruk-hai. It was not enough to kill him, but it impacted his aim enough to send his third arrow into the bushes.

"Oh shit. This was not supposed to happen." Tabatha cried, as instead of slowly walking towards Boromir, the Uruk-hai was now focused on planting arrows in her belly. She ducked behind a tree, preparing another arrow as the Uruk-hai approached her position.

Boromir, seeing her situation, lurched in her direction. He tripped on an exposed root, and dropped to his knees into the forest floor. Other Uruk-hai ran passed him without pause.

Behind him, Merry and Pippin's defensive efforts were ignored as insignificant as bug bites were. They were picked up and slug over the shoulders of the enemy. Triumphant, the Uruks ran off with their prizes.

…

Elsewhere in the woods, Legolas had heard the horn of Gondor. He raced with Aragorn and Gimli towards Boromir.

Aragorn appeared first over the rise, tackling the Uruk-hai archer. Victorious after a short fight, he sank to his knees beside Boromir.

"They took the little ones." Boromir told him.

"Stay still." Aragorn tried to calm him.

"Frodo. Where is Frodo?" Boromir continued in distress.

"I let Frodo go." Aragorn told him quietly.

"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him." Boromir confessed.

"The Ring is beyond our reach now." Aragorn said.

"Forgive me. I did not see it. I have failed you all." Boromir said despondently.

"No, Boromir. You have fought bravely. You have kept your honor." Aragorn told him. He reached for the first arrow.

"Leave it. It is over." Boromir told him. "The world of Men will fall. And all will come to darkness and my city to ruin." he despaired, tears in his eyes.

Looking deep into his eyes, Aragorn promised "I do not know what strength is in my blood but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fall nor our people fail."

Boromir looked at him with a spark of renewed hope. "Our people. Our people. I would have followed you, my brother. My captain. My king." Boromir passed out into Aragorn's arms.

"Hell no, this is not over. Aragorn, can you heal him?" Tabatha asked.

Legolas ran up. "Lle anta amin tu?" (Sindarin: Do you need help?)

"Help me get him back to our camp. We can treat him better there." Aragorn replied.

…

She assisted Aragorn in helping Boromir to lie down. Carefully, they worked his armor off.

"How is this possible?" Aragorn wondered. The arrows looked normal, but the damage wasn't. The arrows had pierced no more than an inch into his skin.

"Unlike leather armor, which acts as a barrier, the undershirts act as a kinetic brake. The silk wraps around the arrow, dramatically slowing the projectile, decreasing penetration depth. It's why I insisted everyone got some, especially him." Tabatha said.

"You knew this would happen." Aragorn stated.

"Yup, it's also why I wanted him in the pink shirt. They didn't have any red in stock, and I don't like seeing blood." Tabatha winked at a rousing Boromir. "Besides, he also looks good in pink. It matches his cheeks when he blushes."

Aragorn gave a tiny laugh. "How did you learn this?" he asked her.

"Mongols used it back home. It was one of the secrets to their success; they lived on horses and were almost impossible to kill with any arrow other than a crossbow." Very successful against the Romans who had similar armor to Boromir's."

…

"Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore." Legolas called out, as he launched the boat into the water. Tabatha casually threw Boromir's broken horn into the bottom of the boat. When Legolas didn't hear a response, he turned to look at Aragorn.

"You mean not to follow them." Legolas stated.

"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands." Aragorn told them.

"Then it has all been in vain. The fellowship has failed." Gimli said.

"Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left." Aragorn implored them.

"Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let us hunt some Orc." Aragorn told them.

"Yes!" Gimli cried out rousingly.

"No!" Tabatha countered back. The men turned to face her. "You three can track them. We have another task."

"I will not abandon Merry and Pippin. It is due to my failure that they were taken. I shall not fail in their rescue." Boromir stated.

"No actually, you're not." Tabatha sat down. "I have something to confess. While with Galandriel, we both saw the movies. And the Easter Egg." she smirked in fond memory. "I'm not supposed to be here. And now, neither are you." she said, facing Boromir.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Boromir is only injured; but he should have been dead. I've changed things, but for the next three weeks, everyone else must believe that he is dead; or the right people will not make the choices they need to make to ensure the ring is destroyed." She took a deep breath.

"So we need to fake his death. Going back to Minas Tirith or anywhere else in Gondor is the last thing we can let you do. You also won't be able to keep the pace they'll make." she argued.

"And I might be up to walking it now, but there's no way I could run with you guys." she said looking at the three standing males.

"We shouldn't separate. There's strength in numbers, and more Uruk-hai wander the land." Aragorn argued. "We face a large group holding the hobbits."

Tabatha shook her head negatively. "You three are needed for the next bit, we're not. Without us, you'll be successful. Boromir and I can protect each other in the meantime."

"I'll also need your help to plan the next change I promised to try to make." she said, turning to Boromir. "Galandriel helped save your life. We need to help her now." Tabatha pleaded.

Boromir nodded reluctantly.

At her insistence, Boromir's horn, shield, and various enemy weapons were sent over the falls. Aragorn was given Boromir's armored wrist guards, to remind him of his promise to protect Minas Tirith. Tabatha insisted on adding a loaf of lemmas to the trio's kit.

Before leaving, Legolas pulled her aside. "When will I see you again? Where are you headed?" he asked, hand on her shoulder. Surprising him, she pulled him into a tight hug, inhaling his faint woody scent and whispering into his ear "Have no worries. I do know where you will end up. Boromir and I will meet you in less than a week's time." They broke apart.

"Promise me you'll stay safe." Legolas asked her, looking deep into her eyes.

"You know me. I'm not into violence; I'm ok with running from it." Tabatha grinned at him. "Take care, and look after the others. Gimli will have trouble with the pace."

Legolas nodded reluctantly. He leaned down to give a chaste kiss to her lips. She sighed and smiled reassuringly at him.

"Good hunting." She called to the departing trio, touching her lips.

…

"We'll leave for Edoras in the morning. Rest now, I'll keep watch." She settled Boromir into blankets, sitting beside him. She sang Ne-Yo's 'Heroes' as a lullaby as he slowly drifted off to sleep without protest.

In the morning, Boromir was almost acting like his old self. "Are you sure it's wise to travel only with me? People will judge you a trollop." he asked her the next morning.

"You know I'm no trollop. The fellowship would be significantly more corrupted by now if I was." she smirked at him.

"Yes, you said before you had standards. You also told me I might be a friend with benefits. You never did explain either…" Boromir trailed off, looking at her expectantly.

"I said if you were lucky you could be a friend with benefits." She winked at him. "A friend with benefits is a friend who's also a part time lover. No romantic ties, just if you're both free from other entanglements and in the mood, you have sex with each other."

"You want to have sex with me?" Again, she had surprised him.

She lightly slapped his arm. "Not now. You have a couple of holes in your chest. They'd rather break the mood; I'm not into blood games, you know?" she said, smirking.

"And if I wasn't injured?" he asked.

"Not sure. I'm still figuring this place out. Starting something surrounded by guys, while on a dangerous quest sounds like a recipe for disaster. There's still questions on how I got here." she responded.

"And you like Legolas." He gave her a roguish grin.

"I do. But I'm worried about the differences. Not just the species and politics, he understands them better than I do, but in cultures. I seemed to have turned both Imladris and Lothlorien on their heads within weeks. Imagine what I would do to his father's kingdom in a longer period." She looked worried, then laughed. "If I haven't made the history books for destroying elfish culture already, I'd like to avoid that notoriety. With their life spans, the world would die before my infamy."

"He's falling for you." Boromir cautioned.

"I know. I'm falling for him too. It's easier for me to control, I've been in previous relationships. I also know why they failed. With each one I've grown, but each comes with its own scars."

"It's made you scared." he said.

"Yes. There are too many questions that need to be answered before we start a relationship. This quest is a great pressure cooker. When it's over, will we even have anything in common?" Tabatha scanned the horizon, before meeting Boromir's eyes. "He's not exactly a casual dating type of guy." she said quietly.

"I think you can trust him to know his own heart." Boromir reassured, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"So tell me about this Easter Egg you keep referring to." Boromir asked.

Tabatha turned to him with a smirk…


	7. Chapter 7 First to Edoras

OMG – 58 follows, 31 favorites and 38 (-2 from me) comments. Thank you so much for the positive reviews. I've removed some a/n from the previous chapter; I felt mean. :(

BTW -If you guys won't call it, I will. The last chapter wasn't as good, and still needed some polish that I haven't done yet. The quality of this one is back to normal.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

…

Ch 7 First to Edoras

Tabatha looked over at Boromir. They had been walking silently for a couple of hours now, and every time he looked over at her, he still shivered. She was getting bored.

"Do you want to talk about yesterday?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he hesitated.

"You been pretty depressed and kinda hopeless. Gondor won't fall you know." she told him.

His shoulders hunched. "The ring. It called to me. It told me how I could use it to save my city." He looked at her, helplessness reflected in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Duh, it's an evil ring. It lied."

"Now Frodo and Sam are lost in Emyn Muil. I failed in my sworn duty." he berated himself.

She nudged his shoulder, before saying "The fellowship had to break. It's one of the keys to its success."

"What do you mean?" he asked in puzzlement.

She smiled at him. "I trust you can keep this next bit confidential?"

Boromir nodded.

She revealed "Frodo and Sam will pick up a guide in Emyn Muil; not the sort you would have chosen. Sméagol aka Gollum. They'll soon have some help from Faramir; and explaining to him why you died will secure it. He loves you a lot."

Boromir smiled at her. "He's a good man. If only my father could see it."

"He will." she said. "Merry and Pippin will find Treebeard. He's an Ent we'll catch up to in a few weeks. Those trouble makers will convince Treebeard to rouse the Ent's and wake up some very angry trees; they'll be a sight to see."

He looked at her in wonder. "I thought they were only legends."

"We'll need their help shortly." She grinned at him, before continuing "Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas will chase the hobbits into Fangorn, where they'll pick up Gandalf. He's Gandalf the White now, by the way. We'll meet all of them in Edoras, where Théoden is currently under a spell. After he's freed by Gandalf, and Grima leaves the city, we can rejoin them."

"You said you needed my help?" he asked.

She nodded her head. "We'll be in a big fight during the next few weeks; I need your help to save Haldir. As it stands, he'll direct his men to retreat, and be struck from behind and killed. We have to change that."

"Protecting someone during a battle will be difficult." he warned her.

"Why do you think I asked for your help? If we can get a helmet on his head, and good cover fire to his position, his odds will improve. Other than that?" she shrugged. "Ideas?"

"I can protect his back during the fight." Boromir offered.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Until then, we'll still need to work on my fighting skills, especially archery. I'm sure you'll agree you don't want me firing too close around you. I'm not Legolas." He winced, agreeing.

"We have another problem too." Tabatha stopped herself, biting her bottom lip and thought hard. 'No, we can't change the bomb. If Théoden does not despair at Helm's Deep, he may not emphasize with Gondor, and bring his troops. Aragorn also finally steps fully into his role as future king. Damn, I wish we could save more lives.' "Sorry we can't fix that one."

"Do you see the end?" he asked her.

"Yes."

A worried frown line appeared between his eyes. "If the enemy were to learn this…"

"You got it." She winked at him. "So you better help protect my ass" she slapped it "until we get there."

Boromir nodded, shaking his head at her antics.

…

"So, have you thought about what you want to do after the war?" she asked him.

He paused in thought, considering. "I've tried to imagine a time without the threat of Sauron. It has been a dream of my people for so long, yet I cannot conceive of how it would come to pass." He shook his head. "I'm a solder, a Captain of Gondor. What skills have I for peace, and yet it's my dearest wish…"

Tabatha looked over at him, studying his profile. "You're good at teaching. You could teach self-defense." she suggested. "Start a school or something."

"And who would I teach?" he gave her a wry smile.

She laughed. "In my country, martial arts are studied by many. Not so much for protection, but for exercise and mental discipline. And trust me, we need the exercise."

He nodded. "Tis certain training is good exercise. I have trained many as Captain."

"People will want to travel more. They'll need skills to do so." She nudged his shoulder, grinning at him. "Learning from the 'Captain' himself would be a point of pride."

"When we stop for the night, we'll practice." He gave her back a roguish grin. "I won't hold back like the elf."

"He's been holding back?" Tabatha growled.

Boromir just smirked at her.

…

Tabatha was growing concerned. Over the last few hours Boromir had grown silent, and now had a slight sheen over his flushed face. She stopped him. "Are you doing alright?"

His shoulders hunched. "My wounds. The dressings need to be changed." he gritted out.

"Right. Sit down and take off your shirt." she commanded.

He looked at her warily. "I would protect your modesty." he said with hesitation.

She rolled her eyes at him. "You mean yours, don't you? I've seen naked men before." She smirked at him. "I've even seen you before too."

Her face relaxed into a serious expression as she looked steadily at him. "It needs to be done, and I'm the only one available."

Silently, he studied her for a moment. "As you say." he gritted out. Unable to meet her eyes, he removed his tunic with difficulty, focusing on the distant horizon.

This time she wasn't whistling and clapping like in Moria. Instead, she carefully peeled back the bandages. The shoulder wound was an angry red, no longer bleeding, but bruised purple. She carefully poured out water from her canteen, and cleaned the area. She applied the paste left to them, then rewrapped the first, before moving to the second arrow hole. This one had a bit of puss leaking around the edges. She repeated the treatment, before she helped him into a fresh tunic.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Tabatha asked him quietly, hand on his shoulder, trying to meet his eyes.

Slowly he met them. "I survived."

Still concerned, she brushed her hand lightly against the second wound. "I don't like the looks of this one. You should sleep by the fire."

He shook his head emphatically. "We dare not make a fire tonight. We will both need sleep, and dare not attract attention."

She sighed. "Ok, but I'm not going to let you get cold. We'll bunk down together."

Boromir disagreed, until she offered him a choice. Sleep beside her, or she would raise a bonfire. With ill grace, he gave in to her demands.

"I have no sympathy for the man who marries a hellion like you." he grumbled.

She smiled affectionately down at him. "Face it. You yourself need someone like me to ensure you don't do stupid things."

Finally, Boromir was comfortable on his right side, and fell asleep resting his arm over her belly.

…

In the morning Tabatha woke first. She was overheated under her parka, cuddling with Boromir. She groaned softly in the dawn light, stretching. Behind her, Boromir pressed his morning wood into her backside. Sleeping still, he rubbed against her, making quiet noises in her ear.

"Boromir…Boromir wake up." she coaxed.

Dazedly, he opened his eyes, discovering his body wrapped around hers. He froze as he realized his aroused state, and suspected what he had just been doing. He blushed, disconcerted, before carefully untangling his arms and legs as he backed away.

"I apologize milady. I was not aware of my actions." he said, forcing himself to meet her eyes.

Tabatha looked at him in sympathy. She put her hand on his shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze. "No worries. It's normal." She smirked at him. "I guess the equipment still works then." she said with a wink.

If possible, his blush deepened. "It should not have happened." he said, his eyes fleeing hers.

"Boromir, relax." She squeezed him again. "You're a normal healthy male. I'd be more worried if something like that never happened." she told him.

Startled, his eyes were drawn back to hers. "Why?" he questioned.

She gave him a small grin. "Erectile dysfunction is one indicator of a heart condition."

Puzzled, he shook his head at her. "I don't understand?"

"If blood can't get down there, it may not be getting everywhere else it needs too." she said, tapping his chest over his heart.

Finally, the blushing was appearing to fade. She continued "You know, you've done nothing even remotely kinky." She smirked at him. "I know; I've tried the corruption test, and _I_ scored normal."

Her grin widened. "What you've done still puts you in the cloistered category." she said, nudging him.

"What's the corruption test?" he asked.

"The corruption test asks you a bunch of questions, about your experiences with sex, drugs and alcohol. My highest ratings were in sex. I've never done drugs, and other than drinking to excess, not much there either." She shrugged.

He shook his head at her in false disbelief. "So, in some ways you're innocent still? It's hard to believe." His face broke into a teasing grin, eyebrow raised.

She gave him a saucy wink. "Some of my friends were also disappointed with their results. So we started a competition to score the highest by the end of the summer." She chortled. "Some kinks were immediately off the table, but some, like sex in public were things we aimed to complete." She wagged her eyebrows at him with a grin.

He looked at her, startled. "What was off the table?" he asked with trepidation.

"Kinks like blood play, necrophilia and bestiality." His eyes widened in horror and relief.

She looked off in thought, before running her tongue over her lips. "Vampires with their 'crimson kisses' can be hot to watch in movies. But since vampires don't exist, those were not getting done." Her eyes sparkled in amusement.

"You come from a very disturbed society." he said to her in dismay.

Her eyes sparkled in amusement. "My views were developed as I grew up watching Captain Kirk trying to have sex with everything vaguely humanoid. I'm ok with hearing about anything where both parties consent, and have similar body parts." She paused before continuing. "I'm not ok with any non-humanoid mixing with humans. No human / freaky alien mixes."

His eyes shot to hers. "There are worse things that turn your stomach? I shudder to think." he replied in alarm. "Please don't tell me more. I too have my limits."

She just winked at him. "As you command, milord."

…

"Breathe the free air again, my friend." Gandalf told the king.

"Dark have been my dreams of late." Théoden muttered.

Gandalf suggested "Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword." Hama brought it forward, presenting it to Théoden.

Minutes later, a crowd was gathered on the front steps. Grima lay at the king's feet, pleading with him. "I've only ever served you, my lord."

Théoden snarled back. "Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!"

"Send me not from your sight." Grima tried. Théoden raised his arm to strike him.

Aragorn stepped forward, shielding Grima. "No, my lord! No, my lord. Let him go. Enough blood has been spilt on his account." he coaxed. He turned to help Grima up.

Grima spat on his hand, before taking his chance to run out of the city, crying to all in his path. "Get out of my way!" The crowd parted before him to let him pass.

"Hail, Théoden King!" The people of Edoras called, as they kneeled in homage to their king.

…

Tabatha and Boromir watched from a distance, as a dark figure exited the city in haste. "That's our cue." she told him.

They got up, slowly walking into the city. Seeing the three hunters in the main hall, Tabatha walked up behind them, slapping Aragorn and Legolas on the shoulders, sticking her head into their conversation circle. "Hey guys. Miss me?" she asked.

"Tabatha! It's good to see you lass." Gimli cried, looking into her laughing eyes.

Legolas's face lit up, as he turned to give her a smile. Mae g'ovannen! (Sindarin, Well met!) He enfolded her in a grateful hug.

Aragorn turned to the pair, before asking. "Tabatha! Boromir! Any trouble on the road?"

"Us?" she rolled her eyes. "We've had a stroll in the park. You're the ones introducing the Ironman to Middle Earth." She laughed.

Aragorn looked for confirmation at Boromir.

Boromir gratefully put down his pack. "Yes; incredibly I've managed to survive 'strolling' with her." He gave her a roguish grin.

"So, now that we're back in civilization, is there any hope for a bath?" she asked, looking around.

"I'm sure something can be arranged." Aragon replied. He waved over Eowyn to repeat the request.

Tabatha turned to Boromir. "You need one too. Trust me I know; you stink." she said, wrinkling her nose at him.

He grimaced back at her. "I apologize for fouling the air around you, milady." He gave her a small bow.

"You should." She fired back, sticking her nose in the air, and theatrically waving her hands about to clear the air.

Shortly afterwards, they both were escorted to the bathing chambers.

…

Tabatha moaned in appreciation. A bath had never felt this good, the heat sinking into her abused muscles. Reluctantly she got out as the water cooled, only to discover her pack and clothes were missing. In their place was a dress she heard Boromir discuss.

Tabatha peered over the partition wall. Boromir was sitting in his leggings, getting his wounds redressed. His clean tunic was hanging on the wall near her. With a mischievous smile, she reached over the partition to grab it.

Quickly, she changed into it, using the belt from the dress to secure it around her waist. She darted out into the hall, sitting down on their bench, in line with the hallway. Legolas and Gimli looked at her, eyebrows raised.

"Wait for it." she told them, winking.

Shortly afterwards, there was a commotion down the hall. Boromir stormed over to her, clad only in his legging and boots. "I'll take my tunic back now." he demanded.

She playfully pouted up at him. "But why? I heard you ask for a dress! Surely you wanted to wear it?" she smirked at him.

"The dress was for you, as befitting a lady." he berated her.

"I thought we had this lady discussion back in Moria?" she taunted.

He flushed, before retorting "You're in Edoras now. You need to wear a dress."

"Really? I _need_ to wear a dress?" she drew out her response with stinging emphasis. She looked him over before scornfully asking him "So tell me…why _exactly_ did you think it was _your place_ to tell me what to wear?"

Aragorn winced and shook his head. Legolas looked like he was on the verge of replying, before biting his tongue. Gimli shook his head in disbelief. "You shouldn't have said that laddie." he muttered under his breath.

Finally appearing to realize his undress, he demanded with increasing fervor "Return my tunic, at once!"

"At once you say?" Tabatha stood and bowed. "As you command, milord." She said mockingly, before dropping the belt on the floor, pulling it over her head, and tossing it to him. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Happy now?" she asked him, eyebrow arched.

Boromir was speechless.

Silence reined in the hall, all eyes fixated on the confrontation. Then, a shuffling of feet as people jostled for better views, a chorus of gasps and a disturbed cough shattered the quiet.

Legolas broke from his frozen shock, and stood up to try and to cover her with his cloak. She waved him impatiently away.

"You should not be seen like this." Legolas whispered to her, fiercely glaring around the room.

"I swim in less than this. Relax." She continued to ignore him, focusing on Boromir.

Starting to tap her foot, she glared at him "Now that you have what you want, can I get my clothes back?" she demanded of his petrified form.

"You have a knack for causing trouble." Aragorn hissed at her, as Théoden came over to the disturbance.

Unashamed, she happily was introduced to the restored king in her lingerie.

…

Gimli crowed "And then he said to me 'I would cut off your head Dwarf if it stood but a little higher from the ground.' Well the elf here got a bit upset and threatened to kill him if he tried it." Gimli nodded towards Legolas. Tabatha grinned at him.

"Well, it was after that we found Eomer had slain all the orcs, piled and burned them. He gave us these two horses to ride to find the hobbits." He chortled.

Aragorn picked up the story. "We tracked them into Fangorn, where we met Gandalf again." he supplied. "After that we made haste for Edoras."

"I fear my legs will never recover from this journey." Gimli moaned, rubbing his backside.

"Sounds like you're in desperate need of a massage Gimli." Tabatha said with a grin.

"Aye, that'd be lovely lass." Gimli replied. "But where's a dwarf to get such a thing around here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?" she smirked at him.

Discomforted he responded warily "Nay, I couldn't ask it of you. It wouldn't be proper to have you massaging the insides of my legs." He smiled fondly at her. "I shall be content with a warm bath and a good sleep."

"Be sure and stretch a little before you fall over to sleep." she told him.

"I'll do that." he replied with relief.

…

Later that night, Tabatha joined Legolas in gazing up at the stars. "So, I guess you get along better with Gimli now." she stated.

"The dwarf and I have worked out some differences." he acknowledged with a small smile. "Despite his difficulties on the run he never stopped."

"It's good to see you guys getting along better. Despite your differences, you have a lot in common. You both have great hearts." she said, laying her hand over his heart.

Legolas's smile widened perceptively. "I thank you milady." he said, trapping her hand on his chest, over his pounding heart. "And how did you fare with Boromir?" he asked.

"Well, he's a little more corrupted now." she smirked at him. "I have a few more things I can tease him with."

"Oh, and what would they be?" Legolas asked.

She smiled at him with a twinkle. "No worries, it's nothing like I'd like to do with you."

His voice grew faint. "And what would that be?"

She stepped toward him, running her hand up his chest, before wrapping it behind his neck. Her other hand reached around him, pulling him near. She gazed into his eyes. "For starters, this." She leaned forward, slowly allowing their lips to meet. She withdrew to watch his reaction.

He breathed out, opening his eyes to meet hers. Hesitatingly he brought her into the circle of his arms, embracing her fully.

She smiled at him, before repeating the kiss. He sighed.

She trailed kisses along his jaw, before breathing into his ear. He jumped slightly as she whispered. "You truly have no idea how tempting you are, do you? I would love nothing better than to hold you in my arms, and kiss every inch of you. And so much more."

She dropped her head to kiss his neck tenderly before retreating to lean back in his arms. Her hand trailed from behind his neck, to stroke his jaw, pausing to run her thumb over his bottom lip.

"I missed your company when we were gone." he confessed in a quiet whisper, eyes meeting hers in humbling sincerity.

She gave him a affectionate smile. "I missed you to. More than I expected to. We should be able to stick together for the rest. Trust me, while Boromir" she smirked at him, "was fun to travel with and tease, I fell asleep thinking about your last kiss. And when I could get another."

She grew serious again. "I've also had to get him thinking more positive thoughts about the future. He's still despondent over his seduction by the ring. He wants so badly for Gondor to be free, to remove the shadow of Mordor."

"We have all felt its effects, even back in Imladris." he disagreed.

"Knowing his father's expectations and trying to singlehandedly support the hope of the populous left him more vulnerable to its influence. But if he didn't care so much, he wouldn't be the man he is. He wouldn't have had the ability to supply that support."

She smiled wanly at him for a moment, before shrugging. "No worries. I have some plans to distract him from his worries." she grinned over at him. "Do you want to help?"

He smiled at her in amusement. "What trouble do you intend?"

She winked at him. "Come find out."

…

The next morning Boromir woke to find he only had dresses in his pack. Angrily, he hunted Tabatha down.

"Well you liked dresses so much, I figured you should have the joy of wearing them too!" she said, laughing into his face.

Over her shoulder, Aragorn shook his head in warning at Boromir.

He sent her a fuming glare, before grabbing his clothes from the seat behind her. He grumbled under his breath about insane females and getting revenge as he wandered away.

…

The group sat idly about the hall after the funeral, listening as Eowyn explained the children's story. "They had no warning. They were unarmed. Now the Wild Men are moving through the Westfold, burning as they go. Rick, cot and tree."

"Where is momma?" the little girl cried in distress, not comforted by the hand stroking her hair.

Gandalf leaned into the king. "This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent for he is driven now by fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from your women and children. You must fight." he coaxed.

Aragorn supplied "You have 2000 good men riding north as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king."

Théoden disagreed. "They will be 300 leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us." He looked sharply at Gandalf, before admonishing "I know what it is you want of me but I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war."

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not." Aragorn chided.

"When last I looked, Théoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan." Théoden told him sharply.

"Then what is the king's decision?" Gandalf inquired.

…

"Helm's deep." Gandalf spat.

Disturbed, Gimli ranted "They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight. Who will defend them if not their king?"

Aragorn chided the dwarf. "He's only doing what he thinks is best for his people. Helm's Deep has saved them in the past."

"There is no way out of that ravine. Théoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them to safety. What they will get is a massacre." Gandalf fumed, stalking into the stables.

Tabatha looked at Boromir, and whispered softly "Party time."

He returned her tiny smile.

…

"Have you seen many battles?" Eowyn interrogated her.

"Battles?" Tabatha snorted. "No. Nobody in my country has. We haven't had a war on our soil for 200 years. The last serious action was when we sent troops overseas to our allies. And that was 60 years ago."

Eowyn's eyes reflected her surprise.

…

Tabatha looked up at the extremely tall 17 hand high mare. "Horses, I don't do horses. My first experience wasn't fun." She mock glared at Legolas.

"I've apologized for that already." he said, lips twitching at her.

"And so you should have." She ran her finger down his tunic, before asking "You still need to make it up to me. So, show me how to ride normally?" She gazed into his beautiful eyes.

He smiled softly at her. "We may have time." He placed his hands on her waist, before lifting her onto the horse. He leaped on in front of her.

She wrapped her arms about him, leaning into his back, inhaling his faint woody scent. Slyly she moved her fingers over his belly, gently tickling the hard plains under his clothes.

"Tabatha." He said warningly, butterflies erupting in his stomach.

She pouted before laughing. "Alright, I'll behave." She rested her head between his shoulders, giving him a soft squeeze.

…

"Wargs!"

"A scout!" Legolas cried.

"What is it? What do you see?" Théoden demanded.

"Warg! We're under attack!" Aragorn yelled to everyone.

Théoden turned to the column, before issuing orders. "Get them out of here! All riders to the head of the column."

"Make for the lower ground!" Eowyn called. "Stay together."

…

"Aragorn!" Legolas called out frantically.

"Aragorn?" Boromir and Gimli called, joining in the search.

Finally, Gimli stood threateningly over a dying ork. "Tell me what happened and I will ease your passing." he growled in a hard voice.

"He's dead. Took a little tumble off the cliff." the ork replied with a chuckle.

"You lie." Legolas angrily spat at the vile creature.

Boromir held him back from attacking the vermin.

Legolas noticed the necklace clutched in the enemy's dead hand. With mounting trepidation, he took the jewel, before going over to peer over the edge of the cliff. His eyes rested in horror on the churning river below, no sign of man or beast in its raging passage.

He was joined by Boromir, Gimli and Théoden. Despondently, they took in the likelihood of survival, and realizing Aragorn would be found dead. The river below looked to devour its prey without succor.

Théoden called to the rest. "Get the wounded on horses. The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead."

Legolas looked over at him, appalled.

Théoden placed his hand on the grieving elf's shoulder. "Come." he requested with compassion, moving away.

…

A cacophony of calls rang through the exhausted crowd, as Helm's Deep appeared in sight.

"At last!"

"Helm's Deep."

"There it is, Helm's Deep."

"We're safe."

"We're safe, my lady."

"Thank you."

The group stumbled into the ancient fortress, relief at reaching safety warring with their concern for events behind them.


	8. Chapter 8 Helm's Deep

OMG – 66 follows, 40 favorites and 41 (-2 from me) comments. Only one comment for most of the last week. (Hint, hint!) I'm assuming by the increase in favorites and follows you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

…

Ch 8 Helm's Deep

Tabatha trudged into the Keep. Refugees were overflowing the halls, collapsed as soon as they entered the gates. She began to familiarize herself with the fortress, mentally walking through the future battle, until she heard the guys arrive.

"Make way for Théoden. Make way for the king." a voice rang through the Keep.

Eowyn ran out of the shadows. "So few. So few of you have returned." she exclaimed.

"Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives." Théoden told her.

"My lady." Gimli's tight voice acknowledged her presence.

"Lord Aragorn, where is he?" Eowyn asked, peering behind him.

"He fell." Gimli told her, his voice choked in grief, before trailing Legolas and Théoden into the heart of the Keep.

On seeing Tabatha in the entrance, Boromir pinned her roughly to the wall. "You knew. You knew that Aragorn would die, and did nothing to prevent it!" he yelled.

Silence descended around them.

"And what would you have me do? You know my skills. Should I have joined you against the Wargs?" she cried out to him.

"We would have protected him!" he yelled back, his eyes thrusting daggers into hers.

She gripped his hands on her shoulders, while hissing back "At what cost? Look around you. How many others fell?"

His grip loosened. His forehead dropped to rest on hers, as he struggled to master his anger.

"There's no reason to despair." she consoled. She leaned forward, whispering emphatically into his ear. "The king shall return. Like Gandalf, he needed to fall. Tell nobody, not even Legolas or Gimli." Her eyes met his with fiery intensity. "Gondor is not lost. We are not lost. Even now, as the hours grow dark, the light is gathering its strength." Her hand came up to caress his cheek.

He sighed, tension draining from his body.

"Will you still help me? Will you prevent unnecessary death this night?" she questioned forcefully.

"I have agreed to this service." he growled at her.

"Good. Then let's take a walk. There's much to discuss." Tabatha told him as she dragged him away.

...

Tabatha pointed out key areas for the coming conflict. They were now looking for a spot for her to shoot from, inside the Keep, which would reach the outer wall. Boromir was telling her how to deal with different situations, since she refused to tell him which ones would occur.

Gamling walked up to the pair. "The women and children have been ordered to the caves." he informed her.

"That's nice. I'm not going." she told him dismissively.

"You must. The king has ordered it." he chided her.

She looked him in the eye. "First, he's not my king. I'll not be following those orders. Second, in the caves I would only draw resources needed for your people. I know how to fight, and I have a sworn duty to save lives during this battle. I will not be kept from the fight."

Gamling looked to Boromir for support.

"We are in his lands." Boromir told her.

Tabatha rolled her eyes at him. "So help me convince him to make an exception." she asked.

Agreeing, Gamling marched her before the king.

"My lord, I'll not be in the caves this night." she informed him. "I'm needed on the wall."

"She can see the future my lord. Her visions have proven accurate." Boromir said. "She asked my help during the battle…"

"Boromir! Stop! You cannot say why!" she cried.

Théoden indicated he should continue. He was surprised when she slapped Boromir hard across the face when it looked like he would speak. "Would you prove false to your sworn word to keep my confidences?" she hissed at him. Boromir's jaw snapped shut, his glare stabbing her eyes, as his face bloomed with her handprint.

"He needs to know." he berated her.

"And he will know." she answered. "When it happens. Not before."

"What do you know?" Théoden demanded, grabbing her shoulder, spinning her to face him.

Defiant, she retorted. "That there's reason to hope, my lord." Glaring at Boromir, she spat "We cannot say more."

Boromir reluctantly acknowledged her command.

She disentangled the King's hands, leaving the room.

Boromir turned to the king. "She has little skill yet with a blade, but some with a bow. She saved my life using it. You'd need men to prevent her from joining the battle. She will help."

Théoden sighed. "Her presence will distract the men."

"She has a purpose tonight. She does not lightly do this." Boromir smiled after her. "Her thoughts run deeper than you suspect. Question her after the battle."

Strands of 'I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General' from Gilbert and Sullivan's the Pirates of Penzance trailed back into the hall.

His lips quirked, "Her anger and defense of others is also fearsome to behold."

…

Legolas hunted her down. "You cannot fight." Legolas told her.

"Really?" she drew out scathingly "'Cause I kinda thought that's what you were teaching me to do."

He shook his head at her, frustrated, before hissing "Tonight, many will fall. You have not seen this kind of violence before. Moria and the fight at Rauros Falls did not make you ready for this."

She pleaded with him. "Legolas, look around. They're arming children." Her eyes filled with tears as they gazed into his. He sank into the depths of her shimmering blue orbs, drowning in the storm of emotions reflected.

He picked up her right hand, before he brushed her hair behind her ear. His voice still hard, eyes filled with compassion, he explained seriously "And they have seen more death in their short lives, than you have. And you would watch them die."

"I know." she cried despondently. "I'm shaking with fear already. But how can I lay down arms when I may have the skill to save one? I need not fight the entire night. Only when desperation drives."

"Who do you save tonight? Who is worth your efforts, when Aragorn was not? Did Boromir's words cause this?" he asked menacingly.

"Hush Legolas." she squeezed his hand, smiling timorously at him. "Aragorn fell as Gandalf did. He will return. There's no need to despair."

Grief breaking, he drew in a deep shuttering breath. "Amin hiraetha." (Sindarin, I'm sorry)

He gathered her into his arms, squeezing her tight. Her hands caressed his body in soothing comfort. "The fellowship is fine, your friends are fine." she reassured.

He coaxed her in undertones "I would have you safe, I would shield you from this night, Arwenamin. (Sindarin, My lady) I cannot lose you. I would not bear the grief." he choked out. "Will you not go to the caves?"

"I have no plans to let anything happen." she told him affectionately, trailing her hand from his temple, around his ear to his jaw, bringing his mouth to meet hers.

What started as a gentle press of the lips quickly changed to fiery passion. Her tongue trailed along his bottom lip; gasping, his mouth fell open. Their tongues entangled. Pressed against him, she felt him harden against her. He quickly stepped back, embarrassed, avoiding her eyes. "I apologize Arwenamin. (Sindarin, My lady)" once again flushed cherry red.

"Well." she tried to regulate her breathing. "We'll have to repeat that one in the morning."

His eyes darted to hers, giving her a tentative smile. She returned an incandescent one, capturing his heart.

…

"He's alive!" voices cried out in surprise.

Tabatha smirked. "Come, it's time to meet Aragorn again." she said. "We need to berate him for causing you worry."

Gimli's bellowing voice echoed down the passage. "Where is he? Where is he? Get out of the way! I'm going to kill him!" He wrapped Aragorn in a bear hug. "You are the luckiest, the canniest and the most reckless man I ever knew." he ranted. "Bless you laddie."

"Gimli, where is the king?" Aragorn asked urgently.

Gimli jerked his head towards the Keep. Aragorn strode forward, only to be halted by a relieved Legolas.

"Le ab-dollen." (Sindarin, You're late.) he chided. His eyes softened as he examined his friend. "You look terrible." he continued, handing him Arwen's necklace.

Aragorn gave him a wry smile. "Hannon le. (Sindarin, Thank you.)" Aragorn said with ironic gratitude.

Tabatha smiled at the two of them, before trailing after the pair.

…

"A great host, you say?" Théoden asked.

"All Isengard is emptied." Aragorn told him.

"How many?" he demanded.

"Ten thousand strong at least." Aragorn informed him.

"Ten thousand?" Théoden faltered. He scowled at Tabatha. "And you knew this." he asked.

She nodded her head at him. "This is why Aragorn fell; to bring this news." She gave him a sad smile. "Glad to see you're back." She wrinkled her nose at him. "Even if you again need a bath."

He shook his head slightly, as his eyes reflected gratitude for the feeble attempt at levity. He focused again intently on the king. "It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of Men. They will be here by nightfall."

"Let them come!"

…

"I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle by nightfall. We will cover the causeway and the gate from above. No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall or set foot inside the Hornburg!" Théoden called out confidently.

"This is no rabble of mindless Orcs. These are Uruk-hai. Their armor is thick and their shields broad." Gimli admonished.

"I have fought many wars, Master Dwarf. I know how to defend my own keep." Théoden reprimanded. "They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. Saruman's hordes will pillage and burn. We've seen it before. Crops can be resown, homes rebuilt. Within these walls we will outlast them." He words washed over his troops, instilling hope.

Boromir shot Tabatha a look. "And if the wizard has found a way to breach them?" As he watched her, her eyes nodded in his direction. He grew pale.

"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people down to the last child." Aragorn implored him to see reason.

Théoden spun to demand in a whisper "What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance."

"Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid." Aragorn pleaded.

"And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead." Théoden hissed at him.

Boromir bit his lip, to stop words spilling out. Tabatha gripped his hand, squeezing in comfort.

…

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn's words echoed in the ranks, despair rising in the troops. The tide of rumor was broken when an elfish horn echoed against the walls of the Keep. Surprised faces peered over the walls, gaping at the arriving force.

"Send for the king. Open the gate!"

"How is this possible?" Théoden exclaimed, stunned when he saw the bowman before him.

"I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together. We come to honor that allegiance." Haldir told him with a flourish.

Legolas moved to stand behind Haldir, showing his support of the sentiments expressed.

Aragorn ran down the steps. "Mae g'ovannen! (Sindarin, Well met!) You are most welcome." Aragorn said, before surprising the elf in an embrace.

Released, Haldir proclaimed. "We are proud to fight alongside Men once more."

The bowmen turned as one to face the king, coming to parade rest in time to witness Tabatha streaking down the stairs.

"Haldir!" Tabatha exclaimed loudly, seeing him helmeted. She launched herself at him, wrapping her limbs around him. "You've had a makeover. Did you get pink too?"

Slipping to the ground, she pulled on his armor, trying to see his undershirt. Defeated from seeing it at the neck, she tried to slip her hand under his clothes at the waist. Ticklish, he squirmed slightly under her hand.

Behind him in the ranks, the elves were able to keep straight faces, and swallow their snickers. The men at her back had no such control.

She continued "Boromir protested pink, but he's not angry with me anymore." Haldir tried to fight her off without injuring her. Successful at feeling his undershirt, her hand slipped out.

She grinned broadly at him, before winking and slapping his shoulder "Don't worry. I've asked him to protect your virtue while your here."

The snickers turned to laughs as the formally stoic Marchwarden flushed red. She winked at his troops.

"Tabatha, could you not simply have asked?" Aragorn asked, shaking his head.

"But my way was more fun!" she exclaimed. "And look, he's red again!" she said with glee, pointing. "Red is such a good color for you." She patted Haldir's check affectionately.

Aragorn rolled his eyes at her in exasperation.

She waved welcome to the elven troops, calling out "Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn."_ (_Sindarin: A star shines on the hour of our meeting.) before vanishing back into the Keep.

Théoden observed her antics in stunned disbelief, eyes resting on the red-faced elf.

…

"Watch your back." Tabatha said, embracing Boromir.

She repeated the mantra to the others, finally embracing Legolas to add "Don't let Gimli win." She winked at the dwarf over Legolas's shoulder, before mouthing to him. "Kick his ass."

Gimli grunted in agreement. "You take care lass. We'll need you to turn the elf red in the morning."

She grinned at him. "Haven't you been paying attention? This is how you do it." She quickly kissed Legolas on the lips. His ears flushed under the scrutiny of the others.

"I think he likes it when you do it." he emphasized.

"Really? Guess I'll have to be here in the morning." She smirked at him, before giving Legolas another quick kiss, and flouncing off to her battle station.

…

The battle had been going on for hours. Boromir was hanging out around Haldir, much to the elf's bemusement. The rest of the fellowship was farther down the wall. Aragorn paced the line, calling out commands in Sindarin, as Théoden issued orders in common.

When it first started, it was far worse than she imagined. Moria provided her with the sight of dead bodies, but this was all encompassing. The smell of blood cut through the rain. Cries of pain cut suddenly short, many of children calling for their mother. The feel of rain mimicking the streams of blood cascading over the walls.

Return arrows pierced combatants on the wall. She looked again at the body of Haleth, one of the first to fall to an arrow. Hours before she had joked with him that as long as he knew the pointy end went into the bad guy, he'd make it through the night. He never got to use the sword he so proudly declared was a good one, confirmed by Aragorn himself.

She didn't see him fall. It was nothing like watching the movies; the impact of spotting his death in the pile of corpses had made her violently ill. A tidal wave of tears was held back by sheer determination. She fought her emotions, beating them down with the mantra 'It's only a movie. It's not real.' She retreated into her mind to erect a wall of disassociation, freeing it mind to work analytically. The world took on an unreal quality as she determinedly put off dealing with massacre below.

…

"Dago han! Legolas! Dago han, dago han! (Sindarin, Bring him down, Legolas!)

Part of the wall exploded in an upward eruption of stone, the sound creating a moment of stillness on the battlefield. She saw Gimli jump down to cover the opening, enthusiastically cutting down enemies, surging around him.

Tabatha was now situated on an angle behind Haldir, far from the breech. During the long hours of the night, she discovered truths of war that never made it into song. Like the smells. Like the cries of the dying. Like she needed a bathroom. A voice in the back of her head chided her for the trivial need; she resolutely ignored it, rejoining the fight.

…

She watched the failing defense of the door at the top of the causeway. Both Gimli and Aragorn were hauled up the wall by Legolas. She checked Boromir. He was pale faced, with a bloody scrap of cloth tied around his arm. Exhausted, he still stood beside Haldir, recognizable only by the differences in armor. Too many friendly bodies lay at their feet; the enemy was overwhelming them.

She heard Théoden give the order to retreat. "Aragorn! Fall back to the Keep! Get your men out of there!"

"Am Marad!" (Sindarin, To the Keep!) she called out loudly "Boromir, get them out now!" Tabatha lay down covering fire, as close as she dared to the pair.

"Am Marad!" (Sindarin, To the Keep!) Haldir called to his men, turning to give the order. He unsuccessfully parried a blow, the sword entering his side. Stunned by the exploding pain, he froze. Boromir dove into the opening behind him, slicing open the Uruk-hai with blade poised over Haldir's head. The Uruk-hai's blade fell from nerveless fingers, striking a glancing blow on his new helmet. Haldir dropped to his knees.

Tabatha successfully shot two more approaching Uruk-hai, but the numbers were overwhelming. Boromir grabbed the injured Haldir, using a ladder to span the river of enemy streaming below. She covered the remaining retreating elves before Tabatha raced inside to meet them. They shambled into the Keep with the last of their energy, collapsing just inside the door.

…

"The fortress is taken. It is over." Théoden despaired.

"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it. They still defend it. They have died defending it." Aragorn cried. Desperate, he demanded "Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves?" Turning the Gamling, he repeated "Is there no other way?"

"There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far. The Uruk-hai are too many." Gamling informed him.

"Tell the women and children to make for the mountain pass. And barricade the entrance!" Aragorn commanded.

"So much death. What can Men do against such reckless hate?" Théoden rambled, fixated on carnage of the battle.

"Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them." Aragorn implored.

Finally roused, Théoden responded. "For death and glory."

"For Rohan. For your people." Aragorn replied.

"The sun is rising." Gimli commented.

Encouraged, spirit rising, Théoden exclaimed "Yes. Yes. The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the Deep one last time."

"Yes!" Gimli trumpted.

"Let this be the hour when we draw swords together." Théoden demanded. "Fell deeds, awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red dawn. Forth Eorlingas!" he shouted, leading the charge.

…

Tabatha ran towards Boromir. "Is he alright?" she called when the horn paused.

"Yes, Haldir is with the healers." he answered.

She hugged him. "Thank you so much for helping to save his life. I couldn't have done it alone. How are you doing?"

He gave her a wry smile. "I'll live."

She ran over to check on Haldir. He was pale from blood loss, panting from the pain. A healer had his tunic pulled up, and was cleaning out the wound.

Tabatha slowed her approach, holding out her hand. "You can squeeze it if you want; it helps to focus somewhere other than where it's injured. Just try not to crush my bones." She determinedly slipped her hand into his, smiling at him.

He growled at her. "What are you doing here? You should be in the caves."

"Goheno nin." (Sindarin, Sorry ) She shrugged. "I made a promise to Galandriel to try and keep you safe. It's kinda hard to do if I can't see you."

He winced, closing his eyes and squeezing her hand as the healer started on the stitches. She squeezed back, stroking it with her other hand. "Hannon le" (Sindarin, Thank you) he said, as the healer finished, moving on to the next patient.

"You set Boromir to watch over me." he berated.

Attempting to keep a straight face, she replied "I did."

"You foresaw my death." he ground out.

"And the death of all your kin here today." she said calmly.

He flinched, closing his eyes to shut out the horror.

She squeezed his hand again in sympathy. "You were the only one I knew by name." her voice resolutely continued. "To my knowledge only Legolas was going to survive last night."

"Why did you do it? Why did you work to save me?" he questioned.

"Because I could. You didn't deserve to die." She grinned and winked at him. "You haven't even had sex yet. You still have to find out what you're missing."

His look of astonishment had her bursting into peals of laughter.

"She told me you saw the future, and were attempting to change it. She had all of us wear the undershirts you had created, and she presented me with a helmet. I have not worn one for thousands of years, and yet by your influence our traditions are changed." he grumbled.

Silently she picked up his helmet, examining the dent at the back, before turning it around to show him. "I'm glad for it. I would rather have you angry at me for changing traditions than have to bury your corpse."

His eyes met hers sadly. "I have only my brothers. My parents are both dead; I raised them. I could not choose to bond and have children. Not as Marchwarden. The risk was too great."

"Would your brothers not raise your children if required?" she asked gently.

He shook his head negatively. "I would not ask it of them. It is a terrible thing to grow up without parents."

She tapped his chest lightly. "You have more children than you know." She smiled at him. "You treat your troops the same as your brothers; you are another parent to them. It's part of what binds them to you. Your loss would be felt more deeply than you realize."

He was startled by her observation. He looked at her, seeing her sincerity. "I thank you for your words." He said quietly.

She teased him. "Despite your solemn and prudish outlook, you do make an impact."

"Most would not call me that to my face." he groused, retreating into silence.

Tabatha smiled gently at him, before coaxing further answers. "You lost a lot with your parents, didn't you? Something's only passed from parent to child." She hesitated before asking. "For instance, you never got 'The Talk', did you? The sex talk?"

He flushed to his ear tips, not meeting her gaze.

Compassionately she continued. "It would take a great deal of courage to begin courting someone in your situation." She lightly squeezed his hand.

"I did once. I was mocked for my lack. My brothers have never dared follow my example." he groused.

"Crazy." She winked at him, before smirking. "That someone would deny the world handsome rug-rats, running around with your features? For shame!" She shook her head in disbelief. "Once this war is over, you'll have no more excuses to try again." Her voice still held a note of teasing, her mouth a smile, but her eyes were serious.

He looked at her, eyebrow raised.

"We can find help for the elfish stuff you need to learn. I'll cover sex." she grinned at him. "You'll know more about sex than all the other suitors."

He gave her a horrified look. "And is would help how?" he ground out.

Her eyes sparkled with laughter. "Your mate would be really, really happy."

"How did you acquire this knowledge?" he asked with trepidation.

"In my country, we have classes giving the sex talk."

"After your visit in Lothlorien, I shudder to think what you would teach us." he said with dismay.

She smirked at his appalled look, not answering.

…

"Victory! We have victory!" Théoden announced, returning to the hall.

Tabatha sang the chorus for 'We Are the Champions' by Queen under her breath.

…

Eomer looked at the girl standing alone on the wall. "She met my uncle while nude?"

"Aye. In the great hall it was. She stripped off Lord Boromir's tunic, pretty as you please, turned around and met the king without blinking an eye. She travels with the fellowship, and without chaperone if you get my meaning."

His eyebrow raised. Not content with rumor, he stopped her as she crossed the middle of the hall.

"You exchange money for sex?" he inquired quietly.

She looked him over, eyebrow raised. "Sorry, I'm not interested." she said dismissively.

Insulted by her glance, he asked louder "Why is a harlot travelling with the fellowship?"

His question attracted all eyes. Gimli's hand tightened on his axe. Legolas's hand reached for his blade, only to be stopped by Aragorn. Contrastingly Boromir smirked, leaning back to wait for her eviscerating response.

Her voice carried clearly to all corners. "When you asked to exchange money for sex, I assumed _you_ were the harlot, since _I_ am not." She gave him a look of disgust before she spun on her heel, exiting the room.

Boromir's laugh rang through the room. "You've incurred her wrath now, my friend. You have _no_ idea what torment awaits." He shook his head, before teasing. "I shall look forward to your punishment. She's most creative in its execution."

Stunned silence reined among the Rohirrim.


	9. Chapter 9 Edoras Party

OMG – 77 follows, 46 favorites and 52 (-2 from me) comments. Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you) so much for the additional comments, favorites and follows over the last week. This one gets a bit more racy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

…

Ch 9 Edoras Party

Boromir looked over to his friend. "That will not save you." he warned, before Eomer approached Tabatha in the middle of the main hall.

"I'm sorry for calling you a harlot." Eomer stood, waiting her response to his public apology.

Tabatha's eyes travelled over him, before looking over to Boromir. "Boromir knows I'm no trollop. If I were, I would have rode his ass a long time ago. Guess he convinced you, right?" she smirked at him.

Eomer shot a glance at Boromir's roguish grin. Legolas stiffened at the table behind her.

She shook her head, before adding in a provocative tone. "I've an idea how you could make it up to me." She ran a finger down the front of his tunic, eyes following, before raising them to meet his gaze with a challenging stare. "If you're interested."

He nodded asking "And what would that be?"

"I'd love it if you became…personally acquainted with Prince Albert. I can have Herbert show you." Her smile widened as she studied Eomer's confused eyes.

"You were talking about Prince Albert at the council. What does Herbert have to do with the Prince?" Pippin asked from a nearby bench.

Tabatha shot Pippin an amused glance, "MTV turned Lord Elrond's council into a discussion over Prince Albert. That's why I was laughing throughout it. Herbert can demonstrate where the Prince is hidden."

All color drained from Boromir's face, he shuddered and explained with trepidation "It's a ring piercing."

Most of the members of the fellowship immediately looked nauseous. It took Pippin noticeably a few seconds longer to connect the ring piercing to its location, after which he seemed to fold protectively over his hands resting in his lap. Everybody else from Rohan still regarded Boromir, waiting for a clearer explanation.

With hesitation, he explained "To become personally acquainted with Prince Albert you have to drive a heated metal spike thorough your manhood." A shiver visibly moved through the male population in the hall.

Eomer looked revolted and offended, hand naturally falling to his sword as he glared at her.

"Don't forget to add the ring, to ensure the hole wouldn't close." Tabatha smirked at the surrounding males, before turning back to Eomer.

"You dare?" he ground out stalking nearer to loom over her menacingly.

"Yes, I do dare. So you and your precious" she lowered her eyes southward, before raising to stab his gaze again, "would need to become _personally_ familiar with the Prince, before I'd consider accepting your apology."

Eomer looked ready to throttle her, hand opening and closing around the handle of his weapon. Behind him Legolas stood angrily, held back by Aragorn from interfering in the confrontation.

"Tabatha! You must learn to hold your tongue!" Aragorn admonished, approaching to separate the pair.

Her eyebrow rose. "He wanted to know how he could make it up to me. I told him." She bit her lip to keep her laugher in, seeing his expression. "Of course, if he chooses not to use this option, I'll have to come up with other ideas." she explained earnestly, laughter dancing in her eyes.

Boromir approached her, laying an arm around her shoulder. "You're being a bit harsh with him." he said. "I've been warning you since Rivendell that your actions are interpreted differently here."

She smiled at him. "Yes, despite also being offensive, you were trying to be protective." She wrapped her arm around his waist and squeezed. "That's why you're my friend." She slapped his chest lightly. "If you're asking for clemency for him, I can let it go."

She turned to Eomer. "You're forgiven. Don't let it happen again."

"You can be sure it will not." Still looking revolted, his voice carried the full weight of his abhorrence. "Am I not owed an apology in return?"

"What other conclusion would I have drawn? Since I'm not a trollop, I figured you were. Maybe raising funds for your next campaign?"

Aragorn shot her an admonishing look, as Boromir squeezed her tightly.

Tabatha rolled her eyes at the pair of them. "Fine. Guess we both made a bad first impression then, didn't we?" she asked. "I'm sorry for also suggesting you were a harlot." She held out her hand for him to shake.

Eomer grasped her hand, allowing her to shake it twice and let go. He looked at her in confusion, shooting a look to Boromir for explanation.

"She's from a very different place." Boromir said shrugging. "Shaking hands is the least of her oddities."

"Hey!" she exclaimed, elbowing him in the stomach. "You need to work on your nice skills." She admonished.

"Only as much as your sense of humor needs correction." he retorted.

…

Eomer cornered Boromir. "Why do you let her travel with us? She will be a distraction."

"That's not always a bad thing." Boromir smirked at Eomer.

Tabatha pulled the fellowship aside, before they reached Isengard. "We can't let word be passed by Saruman back to Sauron. For now, we need to ensure Merry and Pippin think Boromir has died. It's critical. Please tell the others."

"Why can we not tell them the truth?" Boromir asked.

"Do you think Merry wouldn't tell Pippin? Would you trust the fate of your city to Pippin being able to convince others of your death? We cannot afford news to leak back to Gondor before you return."

Grumbling at the subterfuge, the fellowship reluctantly agreed. Eomer was surprised when his uncle echoed the command.

…

The scent of Longbottom Leaf was carried in the wind, along with Hobbit voices.

"A mug of ale in my hand. Putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work." Pippin reminisced.

"Only, you've never done a hard day's work." Merry teased him. They both broke out into laughter, looking up at the sound of horses approaching.

"Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!" Merry called to the riders.

"You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on and now we find you feasting and, and smoking!" Gimli admonished.

Pippin carefully stood on the spot. Swaying slightly, he proudly informed them "We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good."

"Salted pork?" Gimli said with interest.

"Hobbits." Gandalf shook his head.

"We're under orders from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isengard." Merry declared.

"Young Master Gandalf. I'm glad you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master. But there's a wizard to manage here locked in his tower." Treebeard stated.

…

"Grima, you need not follow him. You were not always as you are now. You were once a Man of Rohan. Come down." Théoden implored.

"A Man of Rohan? What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs? The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden Horse-master. You are a lesser son of greater sires." Saruman taunted.

"Well, he knows where to aim, doesn't he?" Tabatha asked mockingly, looking over at the stricken king.

…

"Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead."

Théoden cried.

The response "Hail" echoed in the hall.

…

"No pauses. No spills." Eomer told the pair.

"And no regurgitation." Gimli cried, raising his mug in a toast.

"So, it's a drinking game." Legolas stated.

"Last one standing wins." Gimli guffawed loudly challenging the elf.

…

"I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me." Legolas looking at his fingers in wonder.

Eomer's eyebrow raised at this minor reaction to the large quantity of alcohol Legolas had consumed. The dwarf was obviously heavily inebriated, swaying in his seat and slurring his words.

"What did I say? He can't hold his liquor." Gimli crowed.

"Game over." Legolas smirked, as Gimli passed out. He wandered over with Tabatha towards the hobbits. They were on the other side of the hall, a song advertising the Green Dragon brews ringing out, as Merry and Pippin danced on the tabletop.

"Tabatha" Pippin cried. "Join us!"

"I don't know your songs." she said laughing at the pair.

"That's ok. Sing us one of yours?" At a look from Aragorn, he added "Not a bad one."

Laughing, she was pulled onto the table, where she belted out Bonnie Tyler's 'Holding Out for a Hero'. Cheered on by half drunken men, and ignoring Aragorn's darkening scowl, she changed to Lady Gaga's 'Love Game'. By this point she was swaying sexily on the table, running her hands graphically over her body, sending smoking looks toward Legolas.

At the end of the song, she made a running jump off the table, leaping into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist as her lips met his in a steamy kiss. He flushed red, placing his hands on her waist to try to pry her off. Instead she leaned forward and ran her tongue around the outside of his ear, grinding herself against him. "So, can I ride your disco stick?" she breathed into his ear.

Rowdy laughter surrounded the pair. "Tabatha, behave." he pleaded, aroused despite himself.

"Still my shy little prude." she laughed, sliding her legs down. He groaned as her body slid against his hardened length.

"Can I at least drag you out to look at the stars?" she asked with a sultry tone. He nodded his agreement.

…

Stars received little attention at first. After exiting the hall, she spun him against the wall, pinning him with devouring kisses.

"Tabatha. We must stop. We cannot do this." Legolas pleaded, breathless with desire.

Her head dropped to his shoulder, arms wrapping around him. "I know. You guys bind for eternity."

His eyes closed in pain.

"You have no idea what I'd love to do with you." she said.

"Tell me." he breathed.

She gave him a sultry smile. She leaned forward seductively as her voice dropped to a whisper. "First, I'd spend a good deal of time just kissing you. I'd nibble along your neck, run my tongue over the tips of your ears, and run my hands through your hair." Her hands mimicked her words as she stroked through his hair, exploring the silken texture.

"I'd want to strip off your tunic. My hands would explore every inch of your exposed skin." Her hands dropped to graze over his chest. "My tongue would follow, tasting you everywhere. I would place love bites on every sensitive location I found."

He groaned before her.

"I'd drop to my knees, and remove your leggings, slowly, so slowly. My hands would drag down your legs, my fingers stroking your entire length." Her hands skimmed over his leggings. "My hand would come up the inside of your thighs, to discover your hardened length beaded with precum, waiting for me to taste you." She slid forward, grinding against him.

Her eyes focused deep in his eyes. "I would lick you like a lollipop. My mouth would close over you, sucking first only on the head, teasing you. Slowly I would lower, my lips sliding down your shaft. My hand would rise to caress your balls, rolling them with my fingers." Her breathing quickened at the mental picture.

"Frustratingly slowly, I'd move up and down, waiting for you to lose control. Waiting for you to plead for more." Her hands roamed over his body, feeling his increasing tension, his heart hammering. "Running my tongue over your vein, and around the head. When your breathing changes, I'd stand back up, and wrap my legs around you. I'd drive your leaking shaft between my legs and ride you with all my strength."

His breath matched hers. As she breathed in, he breathed out. He inhaled her energized breath. Ripples of pleasure formed at her words. His face flushed red. He felt a warmth flow into his core. It was intoxicating, precious. Unexpected. Gasping, his eyes closed as he leaned against her.

She hugged him, squeezing tightly. "Once you exploded, I'd wrap my arms around you, and hold you in my arms, happy."

"We don't even know if you get to stay. We have no idea how you got here." His words tasted like ash in his mouth.

"I don't want to think about it." She squeezed him tighter, tormented by the thought. "I'd rather think about having sex with you." Her eyes met his "I love you."

Overwhelmed, his eyes gazed into hers a long moment. His hands reached up to frame her face, as his lips slowly descended to meet hers. "Le melin" (Sindarin, I love you.) he whispered back.

…

Eomer crashed into Tabatha in the hallway. He grasped her with unsteady hands. "Boromir's little friend. Or is it Legolas you're after? Or do you play with both?" he chided.

Tabatha's eyebrow rose. From behind, she saw two of his men approach, trying to maneuver him back to his bed. He fought their hands off with ease, focused on getting answers from her.

"I will not go back to bed. I want more drink." he said, scowling in their direction.

She winked at the two men flanking him. "Why don't we go somewhere private to discuss this?" she asked in a sultry voice.

His head nodded, as she slipped her hand onto his arm to pull him along, and discreetly motioned his troops to show her the way. Keeping a smile fixed on her face, she steered him down the hall.

Once in the room, she settled him on the bed. Turning to leave she was held back by his grasping her tunic. "I'll have my answers from you first wench." he stated.

Tabatha smiled at Eomer, flicking her hand behind her back to have the door closed behind her by his guard.

"I'd love to give you answers. Any you desire." she said, looking him over with a stripping gaze. Her tongue ran over her lips as her eyes met his again. "But first, how about we get you more comfortable?"

He nodded vaguely. Smirking, Tabatha reached for his tunic, pulling it over his head. She tossed the garment to the floor. He fell back against the pillows, his stretched length filling the bed.

He moaned underneath her, as she had to straddle his hips to remove his belt. Successful, she cried out in triumph. He bucked at the noise, rubbing himself between her legs.

"Your control is lacking milord. For that you must be punished." she admonished him.

His eyes widened. "Do what you must." he breathed, eyes huge.

"As you wish." She brought his right hand to the headboard, securing it in place. Spying straps from his horse tack, she quickly freed another for the other hand.

"Do you need more?" she asked, looking at his clearly defined hardened shaft, before meeting his eyes.

"Please" he pleaded.

Slowly, she unbuttoned his breeches. He sprang free with a sigh, no longer confined. She slipped her fingers down his sides, stripping him completely within moments.

His heated stare met hers.

She studied him dispassionately. His hair surrounded his head in a mixed blonde halo, contrasting with the strength shown in his body. Muscles were clearly defined through his arms, shoulders and chest, less cut through his stomach, before bulging through his thighs.

His cock jumped under her regard, beading at the tip. Smirking, she ran her hand down the full length of his leg, before adjusting his legs. Satisfied, she grasped two more lengths of leather, binding his ankles in a spread-eagle position. Spotting a thin hair tie, she secured it around his engorged length. He whimpered as the knot was tightened. She finished her work with a bow, carefully never touching his straining member.

Sighing, she ran her hand over his chest, her fingers turning his head in her direction.

"Now, do I have your attention?" she asked.

He nodded, still in a mildly drunken haze.

"Good. Here's the situation. Boromir is a friend. Legolas is more. You are neither, and are acting inappropriately."

His horrified eyes met hers. He shook his head in mute disagreement.

"Will you remember this conversation in the morning?" she asked.

His look turned puzzled, as he tried to focus on her words.

Rolling her eyes, she informed him "I'll leave you a note to ensure you understand." She grabbed a piece of charcoal from the small fireplace, and wrote over his chest 'Tabatha was here. Talk in am.'

Smirking she left him secured, locking the door behind her.

Abjectly, Eomer regarded his trussed length.

…

Rain was pouring down. Darkness descended. Screams ricocheting off the walls. Smell of blood and fear. An explosion. Stone dust in her mouth. Desperation rising. "Haldir" she cried.

Flickering torches highlighted churning masses of menace around him. She watched the descending blade in horrifying slow motion. Death. Aragorn; too late.

Tears running down her cheeks, she awoke. Slowly, slowly her eyes focused, awareness of Edoras surrounding her, protecting her, came. She was alone. She forced her breath back to a normal rhythm.

Shaken, she slipped on shoes, to wander in the night seeking solace.

…

"There was no lie in Pippin's eyes. A fool...but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring. We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith." Gandalf reported.

At the side of the hall, Boromir started. Tabatha slipped in front of him, grasping his wrist and placing a hand over his mouth. Her fierce look silenced his questions.

"His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing. He knows the heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still, strength enough perhaps to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle-earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a king return to the throne of Men."

Filled with torment, Boromir stared at Tabatha. Eyes bright with unshed tears, she met his gaze quietly, shaking her head. "It must be like this. All will be well, I promise."

"If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war." Gandalf implored.

"Tell me why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?" Théoden asked with rancor.

"I will go." Aragorn volunteered immediately.

"No!" Gandalf cried vehemently.

"They must be warned." Aragorn argued.

"They will be." he admonished. His voice lowered to quietly tell him "You must come to Minas Tirith by another road. Follow the river. Look to the black ships."

Speaking again to the hall, he continued "Understand this: Things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith...and I won't be going alone." Gandalf glared down at the young hobbit, who wilted under his gaze.

…

"Merry!" Aragorn called after him, following his mad dash up the tower to watch his departing cousin.

"He's always followed me...everywhere I went...since before we were tweens. I would get him into the worst sort of trouble but I was always there to get him out. Now he's gone. Just like Frodo and Sam." Merry said sadly.

"One thing I have learned about Hobbits: They're a most hardy folk." Aragorn said comfortingly.

"Foolhardy, maybe. He's a Took." Merry smiled brightly up at him.

Turning, he saw Boromir for the first time since the falls. "Boromir!" he cried. "I thought you were dead!" He dashed down the tower to greet his friend.

"Pippin and I were so worried that you died. Why didn't anyone tell us you were alive?" he asked.

"Tabatha. She saw it was important that Minas Tirith not know of my survival for the next while. She thought Pippin would let it slip I was alive." he told the hobbit. With an ironic smile he continued "It was her pink shirt that saved my life."

Merry burst out laughing. "She must love that. I doubt she'll ever let you forget it."

"Her memory for embarrassing details has not faltered. Her impact has only just started in Rohan. I doubt any country is safe from her influence." He gave Merry a roguish grin.

…

"So, Haldir. We have some time. How about those classes?" Tabatha asked brightly.

Legolas, having spotted her wandering off with Haldir, Herbert in hand, moved to follow her. "Legolas! Want to join us. I've promised to give Haldir sex classes."

Haldir immediately flushed red. Tabatha turned to him to ask, "You don't mind if Legolas joins us, do you?"

Shamefully eyeing the other elf, he reluctantly agreed. Looking at Haldir's obvious embarrassment, Legolas turned down the offer, wandering away, his own ears cherry-bright.

Settled under a tree in a small garden she started. "Foreplay, or what occurs before you jump into the penetrative act is vital to a good sex life. This can range from suggestive comments, touches, looks, whatever, as long as it's revving the engine. Men can rev in 5 minutes, women generally take 20. Let me show you. Take off your tunic."

His head reared back in dismay.

"Don't worry, this part is also a healing technique. I'm going to touch your back, neck and shoulders, and that's it." she informed him. "So take off your tunic, and lie face down on the ground."

Reluctantly, he removed his top, quickly lying down on the ground. She had him cradle his head on his arms, before she started warming up the oil between her hands. Satisfied, she worked liquid into his shoulders, first focusing on relaxing his trap muscles. Gradually they loosened, and his shoulders dropped with a sigh. Smiling, she worked her way down his back.

"This is an amazing thing to do for a partner. You wouldn't believe how much stress we carry around without noticing it." Her hands moved from long strokes, to working knots hidden under his skin.

"Sex is about achieving a connection with a partner. Being mellow makes it easier to achieve. Non-sexual touching can show caring, without the obvious end of an orgasm. Massage can be great foreplay."

Haldir felt himself melting under her hands for the next twenty minutes.

Seeing her pull out Herbert for the first demo, he had to ask "Why did you name him Herbert?"

"You know, I have no idea. It just came to me that he needed a name." she shrugged. She looked over his shoulder to spot Boromir approaching.

"Boromir! What are you up to? Did you want to join us too?"

Haldir looked over at Boromir like he preferred the ground would open up. Amused, she implored "You don't mind volunteering to act in a demo, do you? You can act as a coach for masturbation lessons. You haven't been on watch since Helm's Deep, you should have recent practice."

Halted in his tracks by her request, his jaw hit the ground as his face reddened. After a few attempts, he was able to respond "I'm sure you will be most though without any help from me." He spun on his heel, fleeing the area.

Haldir looked like he wanted to follow him. His eyebrow raised at her, face flushed red. "Why did I need to know this?"

She smirked at him. "Happy mate, remember?" She winked.

"The end goal in sex is an orgasm. Both sexes can have multiples, but females are more known to. Males generally are halted by ejaculation. But more is not necessarily better. I find I'm bored after a dozen orgasms in one day."

If possible, Haldir's embarrassment seemed to increase. It took strength of will to return his eyes to her hands.

"There are a few important places to note." She indicated highly sensitive male areas on Herbert, tracing over the slit, under the mushroom cap, and down the main vein down the underside. She resorted to drawing in the dirt for the female diagrams.

His head was reeling. He had learned of the clit, the G-spot, and the prostate. She had called the clit an 'old faithful', the G-spot a 'Holy Grail' and the prostate a 'pushbutton for cum'. He knew the first time a female was vaginally penetrated, the hymen would break, with a small amount of blood. He found out both sexes could enjoy the back gate, but it took 30-60 seconds to deactivate the unconscious valve, before the second valve should be broached. Stretching with fingers or tongue was used for both entrances, especially important for those unused to sex.

She had covered the concepts of BDSM and other common kinks in more detail. He was dismayed when she related the submissive position during sex to his acceptance of her massage. It did make it seem better but he was uncomfortable with the lack of control.

Finally, he was released from her grasp. His blood slowly faded from his face, returning swiftly each time he caught the eyes of Tabatha, Boromir or Legolas for the rest of the day.

…

Bright sunlight stabbed into Eomer's eyes in the late morning. His head pounded, his mouth was dry and his muscles were stiff. He groaned, remembering the excess of the previous night. He stretched his limbs; or attempted to. He came fully awake as he realized his bound situation. He glanced around the room. He was in Edoras, in his own room. Growling, he pulled at the straps, looking to see the leather of his horse tack utilized to secure him.

Frustrated by his own attempts to free himself, he called for his men. Instead, Gamling, passing by in the hall, heard and responded. His eyes shot to his hairline taking in secured heir.

"Tabatha was here?" he inquired mildly.

Eomer looked down to see her scrawled handwriting over his chest. His face thunderous, he demanded "Release me."

Gamling strode over to the bed, and unfastened the straps around his arms. He grimaced as Eomer's first move was to remove the hair tie.

The door opened. A sentry stood there for a moment, before requesting Eomer join his uncle in the great hall.

As Eomer strode in, he could feel the weight of stares following him. Rumor flew faster than he had risen. His uncle looked at him in amusement. "Tabatha was here?" he questioned.


	10. Chapter 10 Dunharrow

OMG – 91 follows, 53 favorites and 60 (-2 from me) comments. Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you) so much for the additional comments, favorites and follows over the last two weeks.

(I love comments best. ;-) Please help me…My mind is running out of compromising ideas.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

…

Ch 10 Dunharrow

Tabatha was called before the king. Eomer stood over his shoulder, flushed and glaring at her.

"You left Eomer a note?" he said mildly.

Tabatha smirked, before addressing Eomer. "You were asking me about Legolas and Boromir again while drunk. And not taking no for an answer. I simply left a note that we should talk this morning, when the answer might sink in."

Eomer growled at her "You tied me to the bed."

"Well, I didn't want you to smear the note." she said earnestly, blinking her eyes at him with innocence.

He looked ready to throttle her. "I was left naked!" he hissed at her, his voice rising louder.

"Well, you couldn't misplace, smear or miss the note, now could you?" She bit her lip as she attempted to keep herself from breaking down into laughter at his expression, with obvious effort. Her mirth fed Eomer's raging ire.

Face red, he all but bellowed "You bound my manhood!" The words echoed in the suddenly silent hall. Looking around, she saw they had captured the attention of the hall, and lost any perception of privacy the king had attempted to give them.

"And now anyone who didn't believe that rumor just heard it confirmed by your own lips." she smirked at him. "I never touched your precious, I only tied a band around it. It prevented you from using it until you were sober. If it was there this morning, you'll have no bastards from last night's indiscretions, at least from after I encountered you. " she chided him.

He drew back, startled at her observation.

"If you can't handle your drink, ensure you're not drunk in the future." she admonished him. "Your troops had issues getting you to stay in bed. I helped."

She dragged her eyes top to bottom and back again along his form. He flushed under her criticizing gaze. Her voice dropped lower. "You're now next in line of succession. Your troops should be worried about external threats; not concerned about your own lack of control. Grow up before life forces it upon you." she told him vehemently. "Next time I need to tie you up, I'll introduce Herbert to your ass."

Eyebrows rising at this last, Théoden nodded his agreement. "She's right. You owe her another apology."

With deadly gaze, Eomer ground one out.

Théoden looked her over critically. "I trust Herbert was an idle threat?" he said warningly.

"It wasn't idle." She smirked at Théoden, before winking. "No worries. I'm not into non-consensual. To get Herbert, he'd have to beg for it." She shot Eomer a significant look. "Last night, that wouldn't take much. He was already _begging_ to be punished."

Eomer's breath caught as she flounced away, leaving him to face his uncle.

…

Boromir confronted her first. "Tabatha! Tell us you didn't!" he said, leading her to where the remaining fellowship was gathered.

"That depends. What didn't I do?" she questioned with an innocent smile.

Gimli grunted. "Tied up Eomer and left a note on his chest?"

"That? Of course I did that. No worries. He apologized this morning for the necessity of my doing that." She beamed at them.

"Tabatha!" Boromir cried out. "You cannot tie up a marshal of Rohan!"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Well then, who can?" she asked smirking up at him.

Merry watched, wide-eyed as she defended herself. Haldir peered down admonishingly from across the table. Gimli was left sputtering at her response.

"Tabatha!" Legolas groaned, closing his eyes to her obstinacy. "You know better. You've already been at odds; this does not make it better."

"Well he wouldn't stay in bed. His solders kept chasing him down the hall, and he was chasing me for answers he already was told. What else was I to do?" she cried out earnestly.

Aragorn stared her down. "Get one of us." he told her, carefully enunciating each word. "We would have handled it differently." he implored.

"I left him a note to discuss it when he was sober." she grumbled. When that statement didn't cause a change in their expressions, she retorted "He called me wench." She pouted, crossed her arms, her chin took on a stubborn tilt, and she glared down at the floor.

There was no answer, as the others continued to stare her down.

"Ok, fine. Next time a drunken man pursues me I'll send someone to wake you up." she promised. "But you have to come quick, or I'll have to handle it myself."

Aragorn's lips twitched at her reluctant agreement. The rest of the fellowship nodded in acceptance.

She raised her head to find Legolas and Boromir. "So, did you two want to join me and answer his questions, again? I'm not sure he's convinced." she asked.

Aragorn's eyes rolled, as Boromir threw up his hands and strode away in disbelief. Gimli gripped his weapon harder, as if he would use it to knock some sense into her. Legolas sighed.

…

Aragorn ran through the doors. "The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid." Aragorn shouted, his eyes imploring.

Théoden paused for an endless moment. "And Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim." Théoden cried out. "Assemble the army at Dunharrow. As many men as can be found. You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor and war." he instructed his marshals.

"Will you ride with us?" Aragorn asked Eowyn.

"Just to the encampment. It's tradition for the women of the court to farewell the men." Eowyn informed him with a smile.

Aragorn raised a blanket on her saddle, exposing the hilt of a sword. His eyebrows raised in question.

"The men have found their captain. They will follow you into battle, even to death. You have given us hope." Eowyn told him, eyes shining brightly.

…

Gimli snorted. "Horsemen. I wish I could muster a legion of Dwarves, fully armed and filthy."

"Really? Why is filthy a requirement?" Tabatha asked curiously.

"They'd be filthy with the blood of our enemies." Gimli responded proudly.

"Your kinsmen may have no need to ride to war. I fear war already marches on their own lands." Legolas said quietly. Tabatha gripped his shoulder for a moment, grounding him. He smiled gratefully at her.

Eomer shouted "Now is the hour. Riders of Rohan, oaths you have taken. Now, fulfill them all. To lord and land! Hyah!"

Slowly the Rohirrim gathered speed to war.

…

"The horses are restless and the men are quiet." Legolas observed quietly.

Eomer responded. "They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain."

"That road there, where does that lead?" Gimli asked, sensing the darkness swirling within.

"It is the road to the Dimholt, the door under the mountain." Legolas informed him.

"None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil." Eomer said with a shiver.

Shooting the Dimholt road a look, Tabatha grabbed the sleeves of both Boromir and Haldir. "Come with me." she commanded.

"I have a dilemma. How can I save a man among the Rohirrim?"

"What are the circumstances around his death?" Boromir asked.

"He'll fall by the hand of the Witch King, in the middle of the plains, with no spot for cover, unlike Helm's Deep. He doesn't fall by arrow. I do not know how to prevent it." Tabatha spoke quickly as her thoughts raced, trying to find a solution.

After more than an hour of fruitless brainstorming, no solutions on how to even reduce the odds were suggested. Finally, they agreed to sleep on it.

…

After one glance at Tabatha, Boromir ordered Eowyn to find and bring Legolas. He quietly approached her sleeping form, sitting beside her. He put both hands on her shoulders, trying to shake her awake. "Tabatha." he called, "Wake up."

Instinctively she knew better than to make sound. Instead, her entire body was shaking, tears running down her cheeks. Her arms rose, fighting him off.

Legolas barged into the tent, Haldir at his heels.

Boromir retreated to the side, watching as Legolas pulled her into his arms.

"Melamin, (Sindarin, My love) wake up." Legolas ran his arms up and down her back, as he buried her head in the junction of his shoulder and neck. "It will be alright." he reassured.

Tabatha woke with a silent scream, surrounded by a familiar scent.

She'd seen it again. Helm's Deep. This time Haldir was joined by Boromir, blood running in the dirt. 'I caused this.' Her mind had berated her, showing visions of bodies torn apart by the explosion.

She had been surrounded by mothers, asking why she choose to let their children die. 'There was another way.' Another way to convince Théoden to support Aragorn. Another way to have Aragorn step up and choose to act as a king.

She drew in a shuddering breath. Gradually her ragged breathing came under control.

Haldir and Boromir looked on as she returned Legolas's squeeze, mind now aware of her location.

"What was the nightmare about?" he asked.

"Helm's Deep." she responded.

He closed his eyes in pain. "I wanted to spare you." he choked out, face twisted in grief.

"It wouldn't have made a difference. I keep getting asked in my dreams why I allowed the explosion to happen. Why did I not stop the walls from being breached? I knew it was coming." she said tonelessly.

"You may as well ask me the same question. Aragorn asked me to bring down the Uruk-hai with the torch. I failed." She looked into his eyes, caressing the side of his face in comfort.

"Battle is not a place you can control the outcomes." Haldir said. "That you have been successful at all is a surprise I'm grateful for."

"But I must." she insisted.

"Why?" Legolas coaxed.

"I promised to save Théoden too. He's the last I can name to fall." Her eyes met his imploringly.

Boromir looked sharply at her, startled. "The king should know of this." he said, before leaving to fetch him.

…

"My Lord, Tabatha needs to speak to you on the next battle." Boromir requested.

"What does a woman know of war?" scorned one of the men from Westfold.

Boromir's hand fell to his sword, as he retorted menacingly. "She is more than she appears. She's saved my life, and those of the elves at Helm's Deep with her foresight. Now she would take council with you, Théoden king." directing the last towards the king.

"Bring her before us than." a commander from Fenmarch challenged.

"I think not. If the king would council with her, he must go to her." He glared around the group. "Alone."

Théoden nodded his agreement, gesturing his council to remain in place for the moment.

"She's in no shape to face a group of men to be mocked for what she sees and cannot prevent." Boromir whispered to the king, leading the way.

…

Théoden strode into the tent. Legolas shot him a glare, protectively tightening his hold on Tabatha. Haldir prevented Théoden from approaching too close.

"What is it you would tell me?" Théoden asked gently, seeing her distress.

"I cannot. I cannot see how to change the details, and still win the war."

"She has seen your death." Haldir supplied. "Her sight is true."

Tabatha glared at Haldir. "He should not have been told."

Théoden was allowed to approach, sitting on her other side. "I am old, Tabatha. I have no fear of death in battle. Only for the safety of my people. Tell me what you know, that I may aid them to victory."

She took a deep breath, considering. "You die at the hand of the Witch King. That's important. Seeing you fall, two attack him. He is injured by one, slain by the other. Both fall victim to the black breath, to be healed by Aragorn in Minas Tirith."

"But the Witch King cannot be slain by mortal man." Boromir breathed.

"He won't be. Which is why you'll fall when you face him." She met his eyes bravely with compassion. "The two who attack him, neither are _men_ of Rohan." She winked at him. "But they are of Rohan."

"And what of my people?" Théoden asked.

"Rohan will survive. You'll ask Eowyn to take up your seat in the Golden Hall before we leave here. There will be a heavy price for the coming battle, but less than you think. Lord Elrond will be here shortly, to give Aragorn a sword."

Haldir started at this news.

"Aragorn needs to go by the Dimholt road; and bring the cursed army. They'll supply the numbers we're missing." She grinned at him. "They also don't fear death; they've been dead a thousand years. Makes them really hard to kill again in battle."

"If this is what you have foreseen, it is a good sight. I will ride gladly to my death, knowing the armies of Sauron are defeated."

He looked sharply at her. "You will not interfere. Ride with Aragorn, not with the Rohirrim. Stay with the Fellowship. I have no desire to challenge fate. My death is not in your hands." He stood, departing swiftly.

Tabatha glared at Boromir. "He should not have been told."

"You brought comfort to him. He'll be able to lead his people with courage." Legolas said, comforting her.

Boromir also defended his actions. "He is happy; he'll have a warrior's death. His name will be sung in the Golden Hall for generations."

"Sight is not a good thing in the current times." Legolas said consolingly. "We're grateful for what good you've already done."

"No kidding. I'd much rather see pictures of fluffy bunnies. Where's my fluffy bunnies?" she complained, drawing up a blanket, cuddling against Legolas. He tightened his hold.

The others left the tent, leaving them to the solitude found wrapped in each other's arms.

"What dreams did you have before you came to this world?" Legolas asked quietly.

She smiled faintly. "I wanted to graduate with honors. I dreamed of working in a global company, getting people of different backgrounds to work together, and create something wonderful. How about you?"

"I have served at my father's court since I was an elfling. I want to travel this world, free of Sauron. Free of the hate and distrust he's stirred. I would see to the remaking of the alliances between peoples, an exchange of knowledge and skill."

"OMG. You want to remain friends with Gimli! Yeah! Finally!" she chortled.

He laughed at her enthusiasm. "Yes, those are my waking dreams." He said with a squeeze.

His eyes penetrated hers, as his voice took on a sultry edge "And what of nighttime dreaming?".

"Do you really want to know? You feature prominently in them." She purred at him. "And you're not wearing much either." She pulled back to gaze into his eyes, licking her lips. "Or I could just show you. If you're ready for more than just kisses?" She asked, her eyebrow raised in inquiry.

His eyes pierced hers. "I have dreamed of your words since they spilled so tantalizingly out of your mouth, arwenamin. (Sindarin, my lady) They hound my thoughts during the day." His tormented voice groaned at her. His head descended to place kisses along her face, before finally capturing her lips.

Moaning, she pressed against him. Driven by desire, he dragged her body to drape over his thighs. His hardened length was trapped between them. She rose on her knees, rubbing him between them.

Her hand plunged into his hair. Desperate for air, she pulled his head back, trailing kisses down the side of his neck. Smirking, she raised higher, running her tongue around the outline of his ear. He shuddered beneath her, hands shaking at her waist, breath panting in staccato rhythm.

She turned her attentions back to his mouth. She dueled him for dominance, finally succumbing to his strength. Daringly she ran her hands over his body, feeling his muscles twitching in response, supersensitive to her touch. He moaned quietly at her efforts.

His hands, once at a loss, now caressed her back, holding her close. "Legolas" she cried. She pulled open his tunic, planting kisses over each exposed inch. Her tongue darted out, tasting along the faint defined outline of his muscles. He surged beneath her as she playfully sucked on the hardened nub of his nipples. She bit down gently, looking up at his eyes mischievously, before lapping at the abused flesh.

He groaned again when she reached for the bindings of his leggings. His hand grabbed her wrist, holding it determinedly away. "No." He gasped. "Le melin (Sindarin, I love you.), but we cannot."

His eyes met hers with trepidation at this latest refusal. Breathing heavily, Tabatha worked to gain control, her hands stroking lightly over his body. "As you wish." she whispered to him. "Always as you wish." She kissed him chastely on the lips, resting her forehead against his, breathing still irregular.

"Please don't go away now." She pleaded. "I still want to touch you. Feel you. Hold you."

He sighed, nodding in agreement. She settled against his body, holding him tight. Gradually he softened beneath her as sleep overcame them both.

…

"There. A true esquire of Rohan." Eowyn said.

"I'm ready!" Merry said, waving the sword around. Eowyn jumped back out of range.

Merry apologized. "It isn't all that dangerous. It's not even sharp." he told her.

"Well, that's no good. You won't kill many Orcs with a blunt blade. Come on. To the smithy. Go!" Eowyn said, biting back her laughter.

"You should not encourage him." Eomer chided her.

"You should not doubt him." Eowyn challenged back.

"I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm." Eomer berated.

"Why should Merry be left behind? He has as much cause to go to war as you. Why can he not fight for those he loves?" Eowyn pleaded.

"You know as little of war as that Hobbit. When the fear takes him…and the blood and the screams and the horror of battle take hold…do you think he would stand and fight? He would flee. And he would be right to do so. War is the province of Men, Eowyn." Eomer stood menacingly over her, demanding she agree.

"Bunch of Neanderthals the lot of them are too." Tabatha whispered to herself, observing the scene.

Waiting for Eomer to vanish, she approached Eowyn. "Merry's more than just heart you know. All the hobbits have a key role in this conflict." Looking at her significantly, she continued. "He'll protect your back if you let him. Ensure he rides with you if you would win this war."

Eowyn gave her a strange look. "They say you are a seer. Is this true?" she asked hesitatingly.

"They say a lot about me, don't they?" Tabatha smirked at her. "I do know what you will do. Good luck, and take care of yourself out there." She gave a startled Eowyn a hug. "I'll see you in Minas Tirith after the battle."

…

Gimli stopped Aragorn to demand "Just where do you think you're off to?"

"Not this time. This time you must stay, Gimli." Aragorn commanded.

"Mm" Gimli said noncommittally.

"Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?" Legolas chided him, walking with a readied horse up to the pair.

"Or elves." Boromir said with a smirk, leading another horse to the group, trailed by Tabatha and Haldir.

"Tabatha, no. Stay with Eowyn." Aragorn pleaded.

"Really? You think _I'll_ be safe with Eowyn?" she laughed. "Nope. Remember, the only place safe in Middle Earth for me is with the Fellowship. It wasn't my idea to get dragged along in these primitive conditions. With no toilets." She smirked at him. "You're stuck with my ass." She wiggled it, giving a slap and winking at Legolas. He rolled his eyes in amusement at her antics.

Aragorn ground his teeth. He shot a look to Legolas, but apparently he was in agreement to bring Tabatha.

"Oh, I know exactly where you're going, and what you're up to." She tapped beside her eyes. "Sight remember. I foresee" She closed her eyes dramatically, covering them with the palm of a hand. "We'll all need a bath by the time we next see water." Her grin widened at Aragorn's increasing ire.

"You might as well accept it. We're going with you, laddie." Gimli retorted.

Aragorn sighed in resigned acceptance.

…

"What's happening? Where is he going?" a man asked from the crowd.

The confusion grew. "Where's he going? I don't understand." another cried.

"Lord Aragorn!"

"Why does he leave on the eve of battle?" the thought echoed in the ranks.

"Tabatha goes with him. The woman goes with him."

"He leaves because there is no hope." Gamling said despondently.

"He leaves because he must." Théoden countered strongly.

"Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor." Gamling said with trepidation.

"No, we cannot." Théoden agreed. "But we will meet them in battle nonetheless." He said, smiling confidently.

"You learned something from the seer." A man of Fenmarch called.

Théoden looked over at the commander. "There is hope. Rohan will survive. We are _not_ alone." He added with careful emphasis.

Remembering the elves arrival as despair galloped through the ranks at Helm's Deep, the mood shifted amongst the Rohirrim to reflect growing purpose and determination.

…

"What kind of army would linger in such a place?" Gimli asked warily.

"One that is cursed. Long ago, the Men of the Mountains swore an oath to the last king of Gondor to come to his aid to fight. But when the time came when Gondor's need was dire they fled vanishing into the darkness of the mountain. And so Isildur cursed them, never to rest until they had fulfilled their pledge."

"Who shall call them from the grey twilight? The forgotten people. The heir of him to whom the oath they swore. From the north shall he come. Need shall drive him. He shall pass the door to the Paths of the Dead." Legolas recited the relevant passages of the tale, his voice ringing in the dark.

"The very warmth of my blood seems stolen away." Gimli shuddered.

Stopping to read the doorway, Legolas translated the words. "The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the Dead keep it. The way is shut."

"Brego!" Aragorn called after his horse spooked and ran away. Seeing their horses distress matched Brego's, the others quickly secured their kit, freeing them to return. "I do not fear death." Aragorn hissed, striding into the gaping maw of the mountain.

Plunging into darkness behind him, Haldir and Legolas quickly followed. Taking a deep breath, Boromir trailed after with Tabatha on his heels.

"Well, this is a thing unheard-of. An Elf will go underground where a Dwarf dare not? Oh. Oh, I'd never hear the end of it." Gimli wailed, bracing the dark.

…

"What is it? What do you see?" Gimli hissed.

"I see shapes of men. And of horses." Legolas responded. Haldir agreed.

"Where?" Gimli called, twisting around in the dark.

"Pale banners like shreds of cloud. Spears rise like winter-thickets through a shroud of mist. The Dead are following. They have been summoned." Legolas said ominously.

"The Dead? Summoned?" Gimli gave a faint chuckle. "I knew that. Huh. Ha. Very good! Very good!" he chortled desperately, before calling "Legolas!" and running after the elf.

"Do not look down." Aragorn warned.

Promptly, the others looked down to discover bones cracking to dust beneath their feet. Tabatha squealed, waving her hands "Gross. This is so gross. Why did I come with you again? I said we would need a bath." She tried to dance between the bones. "Yuck." she cried as she couldn't avoid crushing some.

"Who enters my domain?" King of the Dead demanded.

"One who will have your allegiance." Aragorn returned.

"The Dead do not suffer the living to pass." King of the Dead said scornfully.

"You will suffer me." Aragorn replied.

"The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the Dead keep it. The way is shut." King of the Dead said threateningly. "Now you must die."

"I summon you to fulfill your oath." Aragorn commanded.

"None but the king of Gondor may command me." The King of the Dead swung his blade at Aragorn. Aragorn met it with confidence. "That blade was broken." he hissed.

"It has been remade." Aragorn retorted. "Fight for us and regain your honor. What say you?" He turned to face more of the troops, displaying the blade for their view. "What say you?"

"Ah! You waste your time, Aragorn. They had no honor in life, they have none now in death." Gimli challenged.

"I am Isildur's heir. Fight for me and I will hold your oaths fulfilled." Aragorn coaxed. "What say you? You have my word! Fight, and I will release you from this living death! What say you?" he cried.

Silently, the nebulous ghosts of a bygone age vanished before their eyes.

"Stand, you traitors!" Gimli demanded, his voice ringing in the dark.

A familiar avalanche sound was heard deep in the mountain. Its echoes increasing as a cascade of skulls was released onto the Fellowship.

"Out! Legolas! Run!" Aragorn cried, swimming against the current of bones. The group plunged through the river, aiding each other to the far side.

Finally free to breathe fresh air, the group gasped for oxygen. Raising his eyes, Aragorn's horrified gaze rested on a fleet of black ships sailing down the river. Breaking, he fell to his knees in despair.

Silently behind him, the ghostly army materialized.

"We fight." King of the Dead said with finality, surrounded by the ethereal troops.

"And we need a bath." Tabatha commented, rolling her eyes. She received a look from the rest of the group. "What, I called it didn't I? I said we'd need a bath when we reached water."

"You failed to mention a few details in between." Boromir ground out, glaring at her.

She shrugged. "Details, who cares about details?" she asked.


End file.
